Some people think that children should be involved in making school rules. While others believe that only adults can make school rules. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.
Some individuals believe that
children
should participate in making school
rules
, while
others believe that adults
should make school
rules
. While
allowing children
to make school
rules
helps them to address
their own needs, I personally believe that allowing adults
to do so helps to make rules
from the expert's perspective
.
If children
are involved in making rules
for their school
, it will help them to address
their needs. Only children
can understand what they need and what they do not need. They clearly know which rules
and regulations will be good for them. For example
, in Hume Grammer School
in Australia, children
decide rules
about how they will clean their school
compund
and when. It allows them to Correct your spelling
compound
address
which areas should be cleaned, how and when. It will help to prioritize their tasks and their needs. However
, I believe that making school
rules
by adults
is more effective because it is addressed from Correct article usage
an experts'
experts'
Change noun form
expert's
perspective
.
Making rules
and regulations for children
in school
by adults
helps to address
the needs of children
from expert's
Correct article usage
an expert's
perspective
. Adults
are more mature and experienced than children
, and they understand the needs and problems of children
better then
them. Replace the word
than
For example
, in Iran, school
rules
are strictly applied by experienced adults
to children
because they have the expertise in analysing the behaviours of children
. Therefore
, if adults
decide rules
and regulations for children
in school
, rules
will become more practical, effective and beneficial for children
.
In conclusion, I personally believe that school
rules
should be decided by adults
because it will help to address
their needs from an experts'
Change noun form
experts
perspective
because they can analyse the unique needs of chidlren
. Correct your spelling
children
Although
school
rules
decided by children
helps
to Change the verb form
help
address
their needs by
their own, it will not be Change preposition
on
much
effective.Rephrase
very
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task response
The essay should address both views more evenly. Currently, it leans towards explaining why adults should make the rules. Balance your arguments by providing more examples and reasoning for why children should also be involved in making school rules.
coherence and cohesion
To improve logical structure, consider dedicating a separate paragraph to explain each point of view in-depth, followed by a conclusion that clearly states your opinion and why it outweighs the other perspective.
task response
Ensure all ideas are fully developed by providing more detailed examples that support your main points. Expand on how children making rules might lead to creative solutions or increased engagement.
introduction
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents your opinion, giving the reader an understanding of the essay's direction.
task response
You provided specific examples, such as the Hume Grammer School, which help illustrate your points concretely.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear conclusion that summarizes your opinion effectively, enhancing the overall cohesion
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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