Some people think that children should be involved in making school rules. While others believe that only adults can make school rules. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

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Some individuals believe that
children
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should participate in making
school
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rules
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,
while
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others believe that
adults
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should make
school
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rules
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.
While
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allowing
children
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to make
school
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rules
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helps them to
address
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their own needs, I personally believe that allowing
adults
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to do so helps to make
rules
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from the expert's
perspective
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. If
children
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are involved in making
rules
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for their
school
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, it will help them to
address
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their needs. Only
children
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can understand what they need and what they do not need. They clearly know which
rules
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and regulations will be good for them.
For example
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, in Hume Grammer
School
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in Australia,
children
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decide
rules
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about how they will clean their
school
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compund
Correct your spelling
compound
and when. It allows them to
address
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which areas should be cleaned, how and when. It will help to prioritize their tasks and their needs.
However
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, I believe that making
school
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rules
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by
adults
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is more effective because it is addressed from
Correct article usage
an experts'
show examples
experts'
Change noun form
expert's
show examples
perspective
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. Making
rules
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and regulations for
children
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in
school
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by
adults
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helps to
address
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the needs of
children
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from
expert's
Correct article usage
an expert's
show examples
perspective
Use synonyms
.
Adults
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are more mature and experienced than
children
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, and they understand the needs and problems of
children
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better
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then
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than
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them.
For example
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, in Iran,
school
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rules
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are strictly applied by experienced
adults
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to
children
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because they have the expertise in analysing the behaviours of
children
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.
Therefore
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, if
adults
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decide
rules
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and regulations for
children
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in
school
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,
rules
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will become more practical, effective and beneficial for
children
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. In conclusion, I personally believe that
school
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rules
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should be decided by
adults
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because it will help to
address
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their needs from an
experts'
Change noun form
experts
show examples
perspective
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because they can analyse the unique needs of
chidlren
Correct your spelling
children
.
Although
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school
Use synonyms
rules
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decided by
children
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helps
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help
show examples
to
address
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their needs
by
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on
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their own, it will not be
much
Rephrase
very
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effective.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task response
The essay should address both views more evenly. Currently, it leans towards explaining why adults should make the rules. Balance your arguments by providing more examples and reasoning for why children should also be involved in making school rules.
coherence and cohesion
To improve logical structure, consider dedicating a separate paragraph to explain each point of view in-depth, followed by a conclusion that clearly states your opinion and why it outweighs the other perspective.
task response
Ensure all ideas are fully developed by providing more detailed examples that support your main points. Expand on how children making rules might lead to creative solutions or increased engagement.
introduction
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents your opinion, giving the reader an understanding of the essay's direction.
task response
You provided specific examples, such as the Hume Grammer School, which help illustrate your points concretely.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear conclusion that summarizes your opinion effectively, enhancing the overall cohesion

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • sense of responsibility
  • ownership
  • realistic
  • relevant
  • negotiation
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • experience
  • maturity
  • foresee
  • appropriate
  • boundaries
  • safety
  • discipline
  • legal implications
  • comply
  • education regulations
  • disconnect
  • resentment
  • non-compliance
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