IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

S. In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of ths outweigh the disadvantages ?

#countries #people #diet #ths
Vegetarian
Correct article usage
The vegetarian
show examples
 lifestyle nowadays is very common in some countries. The benefits
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 lifestyle
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
might be different for some people. I can not say which is more important
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the advantages or the opposite.
However
, I would like to
eliberate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
deliberate
my
Change preposition
on my
show examples
 perspective for both of those. The
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
 of doing
vegetarian
Correct article usage
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
, it helps us to reduce weight faster. It is because vegetables are
content
Correct article usage
a content
show examples
 of
vitamin
Fix the agreement mistake
vitamins
show examples
 and
fiber
Change the spelling
fibre
show examples
 that helps us
healthier
Add a missing verb
be healthier
show examples
 and
also
 improve
digestion
Correct pronoun usage
our digestion
show examples
 system. It is clear because numerous
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
 and health
experties
Correct your spelling
expertise
experts
 are commonly discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
it and
ever
Correct your spelling
every
show examples
 on our plate two times measure
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 carbs, especially for those who are doing
diet
Correct article usage
a diet
show examples
 lifestyle.
However
, it
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
also
giving
Verb problem
has
show examples
 negative impacts because we are not able to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 the protein needs which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 important for
muscles
Change the noun form
muscle
show examples
 growth. Muscle is very necessary in our body because it
is protect
Change the verb form
protects
show examples
 our bones from
ostheoporoshis
Correct your spelling
osteoporosis
. In brief,
vegetarian
Add an article
a vegetarian
the vegetarian
show examples
diet
 is the fastest method to have weight loss. It is clear because we reduce protein and carbs.
However
, it is not good for our
muscles
Change the noun form
muscle
show examples
 growth. The best
diet
 should be
doing
Change the form of the verb
done
show examples
 by
balanced
Wrong verb form
balancing
show examples
 the nutrition between carbs, fat, protein and fiber.
Submitted by mutiaraanggun1995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your essay with clear paragraphs for each point. This will enhance your argument and make your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Provide specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and provide more depth to your essay.
task achievement
Make sure to address the part of the question regarding the comparison between advantages and disadvantages more directly and explicitly state which outweighs the other.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, helping to frame your essay's key points.
task achievement
You have correctly identified and discussed both advantages and disadvantages of a vegetarian diet.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: