IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society?

#countries #students #study #science #effects #society
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Nowadays, pupils have a variety of
subjects
Use synonyms
 to study at school. In numerous countries, the number of
students
Use synonyms
 choosing
science
Use synonyms
 as a subject of study is decreasing year by year.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why these changes have occurred and what effects they are having on society. There are several reasons when deal comes to
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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, people make
descicion
Correct your spelling
decisions
decision
 by their
preference
Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
show examples
. Many individuals might find
subjects
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as math, physics, chemistry and biology difficult, which can result in a lack of satisfaction with their education.
This
Linking Words
 dissatisfaction plays
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 role in academic performance and
succsess
Correct your spelling
success
 in
workplace
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the workplace
show examples
 in future.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in some
underdevolped
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
 countries,
students
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 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 no
accsess
Correct your spelling
access
 to
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
modern devices and resources cannot choose
science
Use synonyms
 as their career path.
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
choises
Correct your spelling
choices
 have significant effects on society,
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 a lack of qualified workers,
such
Linking Words
 as scientists, doctors and teachers. These individuals play crucial
role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
show examples
 in innovating and solving global
chalanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
. Without skilled professionals, technical progress could slow down, affecting on
tackle
Replace the word
tackling
show examples
 issues like climate change, disease control, and space exploration.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Scientific research and technological innovation are most important in development. A reduction in the number of
students
Use synonyms
 choosing
science
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 contributes to slow progress or even could lead to a decline in
inovation
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innovation
, as there may not be enough
reserchers
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researchers
 and engineers to expand knowledge. In conclusion, in several
Correct your spelling
countries
counties
counrties
Add a comma
counrties,
show examples
 a low number of
students
Use synonyms
 choose
science
Use synonyms
 as a subject. In the progress a high amount of
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
 prefer
subjects
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 rather than
science
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 to avoid hardship, leading to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 decrease of good workers
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 society.
Submitted by erkasiet2008 on

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relevant specific examples
Work on providing specific examples to support your points in order to enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments.
logical structure
Try to better connect sentences with linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The essay adequately introduces the topic and concludes effectively, summarizing the main points discussed.
complete response
The essay identifies several relevant reasons why students might not choose science and discusses the potential effects on society.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math)
  • Perception of difficulty
  • Early exposure
  • Engaging experiences
  • Career opportunities
  • Practical applications
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural norms
  • Critical fields
  • Innovation
  • Economic development
  • Global competitiveness
  • Public health
  • Environmental issues
  • Scientific progress
  • Educational standards
  • Biodiversity loss
  • Healthcare services
  • Medical research
  • Job prospects
  • Research and technology
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