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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below gives information on the ages of the population of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant

The chart below gives information on the ages of the population of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant
The given pie charts
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 details of Yemenis and Italian
Use synonyms
people
Correct your spelling
people's
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 life in 2000 and the estimation of citizens in 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that there would be a significant rise
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who
Use synonyms
age
Wrong verb form
aged
show examples
 from 15 to 59 years old in both countries.
First,
Linking Words
about 50
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who live in Yaman
was
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Add an article
the age
an age
show examples
 range of 0 to 14,
while
Linking Words
 it will
decrese
Correct your spelling
decrease
 by 37
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2050.
However
Linking Words
, the number of
people
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
15 to 59 will dramatically increase from 46
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 57
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2050. In
Italy
Add a comma
Italy,
show examples
 the result would be similar to Yeman
while
Linking Words
 there will be a rise
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who
age
Use synonyms
 from 15 to 59
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 46
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 61
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and there but there will be a totally different result
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
 those individuals who are more than 60 years old,
while
Linking Words
 only 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of society were more than 60 years old in Yeman. but the number of these
age
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
are
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 more than 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 time in 2000 and it will dramatically
increse
Correct your spelling
increase
 by 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and will be 42
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2025 in Italy. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, despite the result of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 of Yeman and Italy,
group
Correct article usage
the group
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
aged
show examples
age
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
15 to 59 will potentially
increses
Correct your spelling
increases
increase
till
Change preposition
by
show examples
 2050 in both countries.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, age, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Demographics
  • Age structure
  • Dependency ratio
  • Life expectancy
  • Birth rate
  • Socioeconomic development
  • Projections
  • Developing country
  • Developed country
  • Youthful population
  • Aged population
  • Population aging
  • Pension systems
  • Healthcare services
  • Economic conditions
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