Some people believe that our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to alter our character traits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is a belief of some

people

Use synonyms

that inherited genes

determines

Correct subject-verb agreement

determine

show examples

the personality of individuals, and the options for these alterations are not there.

However

Linking Words

, I, firmly disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement as in

this

Linking Words

era with the assistance of science and directional training even the personalities of

people

Use synonyms

can be improved. To commence with, the first and foremost point behind my disagreement is that physical traits

such

Linking Words

as hair colour, height,

facial

Correct word choice

and facial

show examples

features, could be enhanced by using science and technology.

This

Linking Words

is because, today there are enormous surgeries that

people

Use synonyms

can choose to gain and improve these features. For

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

instance, it is a common practice among actresses and actors to undergo facial enhancement surgeries, which include chin lengthening,

jaw line

Correct your spelling

jawline

show examples

sharpening, botox and fillers.

Thus

Linking Words

, with

this

Linking Words

advancement

Add a comma

advancement,

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the

appearence

Correct your spelling

appearance

of individuals can be changed. Moving

further

Linking Words

, the mindset and intelligence of

people

Use synonyms

can

also

Linking Words

become better by providing them

education

Change preposition

with education

show examples

and promoting

independency

Correct your spelling

independence

show examples

. The reason behind

this

Linking Words

is that it might help natives to work in a directional approach, which could provide them assistance in opening new treasures of life.

For example

Linking Words

, In India, a few years ago,

son

Correct article usage

the son

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of a street vendor cracked the most difficult exam of Indian public services, meanwhile his parents were illiterate,

just

Correct word choice

and just

show examples

with by

Change preposition

apply

show examples

having adequate guidance.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, when

people

Use synonyms

lead an independent life, they have to deal with many issues on their own, which sometimes makes them

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

think out of the way and gain more life experiences. In conclusion, in my perspective

although

Linking Words

, genetics provides the basic

characters

Replace the word

characteristics

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

an individual,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

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these can be improvised by the utilization of technological upgradation in science, with the help of education and following

independent

Add an article

an independent

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lifestyle.

plkkhatiFri Nov 22 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve your logical structure, ensure that each paragraph logically flows into the next by using transitional phrases and linking words more effectively.

task achievement

Work on refining the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Some sentences are a bit complex and could be simplified for better understanding.

coherence cohesion

Remember to clearly define your stance in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion to strengthen your essay's coherence.

coherence cohesion

You have presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which aids in framing your arguments well.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples, such as the example of the son of a street vendor in India, which aptly support your main ideas.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Some people believe that our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to alter our character traits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The advantages provided by English as a global language will continue to outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree with this statement

Today much of the food people eat get imported from farms that are thousands of miles away. Would the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Technology has brought so many changes that modern lifestyle are completely different from the way people lived in the past. Do you think the positive effects of technology outweigh its disadvantages?