Experts say older people were happier and healthier in past because they did exercise and spent more time with their family and friends , whereas many now suffer from lonliness and health problems . What are the causes of this and reasons

#experts #people #exercise #time #friends #lonliness #health

Some observers said that the elderly nowadays

Verb problem

are

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not healthier and ecstatic than the elderly in the past

Remove the comma

apply

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because old

people

were

Wrong verb form

are

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more fit and socially active. In

this

essay, I will discuss the relevant causes of

this

issue. Commencing with the causes of health deterioration in

this

era could be serving unhealthy diets, which can lead to obesity and various diseases,

such

as diabetes, high blood pressure, and fatty liver, because of a higher concentration of salt and sugar in these time food products.

Although

changing in the current lifestyle, which is tending to be more sedentary than predecessors,

people

in the past were used to going to work as pedestrians; they were not relying on vehicles the same as today. Various types of jobs were heavy and needed more effort, like the usage of undeveloped equipment,

such

as agricultural fields or the construction of buildings. The causes of an unhappy society need to be considered because happiness affects mental health and daily performance. Being delightful and enjoying a simple thing is not luxurious, because it well reflects on our lives. Because of busy lifestyles,

people

are more focused on earning money and self-development. Most of the offspring do not notice their parents’ need

for sharing

Change preposition

to share

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their moments or

requiring

Wrong verb form

require

show examples

attention, and some do not make family gatherings a priority. So some older individuals prefer to live alone without looking for others. In conclusion, some

people

believe that older

people

are less healthy and happy these days in comparison to

people

in the past.

People

nowadays are overwhelmed by eating unhealthy food and are less active than before. Regarding the reduction in happiness level, I think a

self-centering

Change the spelling

self-centring

show examples

life and a busy lifestyle have increased the proportion of being alone.

Submitted by afnan.sa1992 on Fri Nov 22 2024

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relevant examples

Try to provide more detailed examples or data to support your points, such as statistics or studies on healthy lifestyles among older generations.

clear comprehensive ideas

Consider refining your main points to be more comprehensive and specific. Ensure your essay explores all aspects of the prompt.

introduction conclusion

The essay begins with a clear introduction that sets the stage for the discussion.

complete response

You cover a wide range of potential causes for the changes in happiness and health among the elderly, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
technological reliance
urbanization
work-life balance
family dynamics
lengthy longevity
quality of life
social isolation
digital divide
cultural values
communal living
processed foods
dietary changes
mental health
elderly well-being

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Experts say older people were happier and healthier in past because they did exercise and spent more time with their family and friends , whereas many now suffer from lonliness and health problems . What are the causes of this and reasons

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problem is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this?

In some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Walking is known to be beneficial for health but these days the number of people walking has reduced a lot. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this situation?

Public celebrations( such as national days, festivals, etc) are held in most countries. Theses are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things Do you agree or disagree?

The best way to solve the world's environmental problem is to increase the price of fuels. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?