Experts say if the old people spend time and get along with others and exercise everyday will be healthier and happier. However, many elderlies are suffering from loneliness and lack of fitness. Discuss the cause and solution.
In today's world, adults and teenagers are concerned about their financial resources, image on social media and career goals.
However
, it is crucial to remember that issues could change Linking Words
while
Linking Words
oldering
. In Correct your spelling
older
few
decades we will probably forget about our current challenges with Correct article usage
a few
broken
Add an article
a broken
heart
and Fix the agreement mistake
hearts
university's
grades, as illnesses and social isolation could become paramount in our Change noun form
university
60's
. In Change noun form
60s
this
essay, I will explore both Linking Words
causes
and solutions of these changes and share my own viewpoint on the matter.
What reasons could lead the person to be socially neglected? First of all, it could be caused by hard mental conditions, as Correct article usage
the causes
neurons
connections are becoming Change the noun form
neuron
instable
and certain cells of the body are degrading Correct your spelling
unstable
due to
Linking Words
the
age. These changes include Correct article usage
apply
depressions
states, schizophrenia or amnesia, which interfere the normal communication Change the noun form
depression
this
others. Linking Words
Also
, it becomes more difficult to find connections with ageLinking Words
,
because Remove the comma
apply
people
's social institutes are disappearing, there is no need to go to university or to school where social interactions Use synonyms
were
encouraged.
We observe a similar situation Wrong verb form
are
Linking Words
this
health condition. A plethora of Change preposition
in this
ilnesses
and disabilities prevent Correct your spelling
illnesses
people
Use synonyms
to accomplish
physical exercises, and even usual activities Change preposition
from accomplishing
such
as walking and shopping take the Linking Words
efforts
. Fix the agreement mistake
effort
Meanwile
, older Correct your spelling
Meanwhile
people
are struggling with Use synonyms
mouvements
even on Correct your spelling
movements
movement
daily
basis, leaving them exhausted and not able to accomplish more tasks.
Correct article usage
a daily
However
, there are possible ways to help them, as I consider. First of all, the Linking Words
gouvernement
should introduce free psychological sessions with gerontologists to prevent the mental condition from degradation and make them able to manage the stress Correct your spelling
government
by
their own. Change preposition
on
Besides
, free Linking Words
sport
clubs could enhance their Change the noun form
sports
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
to
an active life, gathering Change preposition
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
of their age. I Use synonyms
also
consider that volunteers could visit the lonely Linking Words
peoples
to provide Fix the agreement mistake
people
the
affordable healthcare and social engagement.
In conclusion, the older Correct article usage
apply
peoples
are facing a lot of problems Fix the agreement mistake
people
due to
a body transition and loss of social status. Linking Words
Nevertheless
, it is in our forces to help them Linking Words
to
overcome Verb problem
apply
this
moment, as we should stay responsive to an older generation and remember that one day we will take their place.Linking Words
Submitted by n_forever_living on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Some ideas in your essay could benefit from more clarity. Try to organize your points in a coherent manner to make your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
Introduce more specific examples to support your arguments, which could raise the level of detail and complexity.
coherence cohesion
Consider integrating some transition phrases to improve the flow between ideas.
task achievement
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the given prompt, addressing both causes and solutions to loneliness and lack of fitness among elderly people.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, offering a good framework for your discussion.
task achievement
Your proposal of solutions shows a good attempt at addressing identified issues.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.