IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, a growing number ofpeople with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
More people have been using alternative medicines and
treatment
Fix the agreement mistake
treatments
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of visiting their family physicians. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 can be a positive development as these sources have minimal side effects, have been used since the historical era and focus on holistic well-being, if guided by a qualified doctor.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the first and foremost advantage of using Ayurvedic medicines is that they have minimal
side-effects
Correct your spelling
side effects
show examples
, leading to
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 risks to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human life.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the allopathy does some alterations within the human working system.
For example
Linking Words
, Paracetamol, an antipyretic, which is used frequently by doctors is claimed to be inducing liver diseases, which is a testament to
this
Linking Words
 situation.
Further
Linking Words
, these ways are not new, they have been used since the prehistoric era
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 turmeric and neem leaves used to be the basic ingredients for a treatment.
Moreover
Linking Words
, today therapies look for the holistic
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
 of people. when
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
people suffering from a mental breakdown,
anxiety
Correct word choice
or anxiety
show examples
undergo
Correct subject-verb agreement
undergoes
show examples
 some calming therapeutic exercises it not only
rejuvinates
Correct your spelling
rejuvenates
rejuvenate
 their mind but
also
Linking Words
 their body, leading them to cope with the
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 pressure.
For instance
Linking Words
, Music is used by many
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
 as a treatment
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 anxiety with
procen
Correct your spelling
proven
 and astonishing results.
However
Linking Words
, all these approaches can be fruitful only if provided by
a qualified individuals
Correct the article-noun agreement
a qualified individual
qualified individuals
show examples
 as they will have
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 intellect to perform them. In conclusion, I ponder that
introduction
Correct article usage
the introduction
show examples
 of
ayurveda
Capitalize word
Ayurveda
show examples
 and
other form
Change the wording
another form
other forms
show examples
 of therapy is a positive development as it
foster
Change the verb form
fosters
show examples
 holistic
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
, has minimal
side-effects
Correct your spelling
side effects
show examples
 and has been used from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ancient
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
, if performed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
specialized individuals

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task achievement, elaborate more on each point with additional details and examples. This will help fully address the topic's complexity and show a deeper understanding.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, work on the organization of your essay by ensuring smooth transitions between ideas to create a more fluid narrative.
task achievement
The introduction clearly presents the essay's main argument, setting up a well-defined stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
A conclusion is effectively provided, summarizing the main points and reinforcing the essay's overall opinion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: