The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#information #attendance #entertainment #venues #admission #prices #summarise #features #comparisons

The bar chart provides information about the number of people visiting sports,

theme

parks

, and cinemas in 2009 and the table reveals ticket prices

Change preposition

for

show examples

various venues in the same year.

Overall

, it can be seen based on the chart that movie theatres were the most popular entertainment destination,

while

from the table displayed the tickets for football events and

theme

parks

were more expensive rather than the others. Moving on to the details, the total of individuals who were attending cinemas was more than one million people.

However

theme

parks

and sports

venue’s

Change noun form

venue

show examples

visitors were respectively around 300 thousand and 100 thousand people.

Furthermore

, the price showed a significant difference between football games and

theme

parks

compared to the others. All football games events and

theme

parks

ticket prices for one person were around 70 dollars and family tickets were approximately more than 210 dollars. When it comes to the next three venues, the prices were considerably lower.

Finally

, movie theatres were not only the most favourable places among attendees but

also

the cheapest form of entertainment.

Submitted by hasnaisdihar on Sat Nov 23 2024

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words theme, parks with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

178 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Students should be primarily taught academic subjects so that they can pass exams, and practical skills such as cooking should not be taught. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that other media are better sources of news. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Large members of visitors can endanger ancient archeological sites such as Machu Plcchu. In your opinion, is it more important to try to preserve such sites or allow public access to them?