IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Environmental protection should be the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#protection #responsibility #politicians #individuals
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Governments must take
responsibility
in
Change preposition
on
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 their shoulders
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 when
individual’s
Change noun form
individual
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responsibility
 to care for environmental safety is
lack
Wrong verb form
lacking
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. In
this
trend
Add a comma
trend,
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 I strongly agree that governments should take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility
 for protecting our environmental safety. In
this
 day and age, the world has been becoming contaminated, the high level of pollution will keep threatening our planet’s fragile ecosystem,
while
 certain individuals are exacerbating the situation.
However
Add a comma
However,
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 the inhabitants of the planet can join forces to combat the ongoing pollution. Even if what they do seems insignificant, it does not imply that it is nothing. If we come together, we can prevent our environmental problems.
For instance
, we can make progress by not throwing away plastic bottles or burning flammable materials,
turn
Wrong verb form
turning
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 off lights when not in use,
use
Wrong verb form
using
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 energy-efficient appliances, and
consider
Wrong verb form
considering
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 renewable energy sources like solar
as well as
practice
Wrong verb form
practising
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 water-saving techniques
such
 as fixing leaks, using water-efficient appliances, and being mindful of water usage, using electric vehicles, bike, or walk.
On the other hand
, the
governments
Change to a genitive case
government's
governments'
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responsibility
 is more crucial.
Further
, the government have high finance as compared to the individuals.
In other words
, authorities have the treasury to make a large impact on saving the environment, and they can spend a massive amount of money which a normal inhabitant cannot.
For instance
, the place where
president
Correct article usage
the president
show examples
about
Add a missing verb
is about
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 to
come
Add the preposition
come to
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 the government in just imperceptible time will be cleaned and transformed.
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task achievement
While your essay addresses the task, make sure to balance both sides of the argument. Discuss both the role of politicians and individuals in environmental protection.
coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a more structured progression of ideas. Each paragraph should focus on a single clear point that contributes to your argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. For instance, mentioning specific policies that governments have implemented could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You’ve clearly identified the roles of individuals and governments in environmental protection, showcasing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your vocabulary is varied and shows a good command of English, making the essay interesting to read.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental protection
  • responsibility
  • politicians
  • individuals
  • large-scale
  • policies
  • regulations
  • impact
  • corporations
  • environmentally friendly practices
  • resources
  • expertise
  • collective efforts
  • difference
  • combination
  • crucial
  • effective
What to do next:
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