IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries nowdays,consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think is a psitive or negative development.

#countries #nowdays #consumers #supermarket #food #world #psitive #development
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the importance of expanding
man
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man's
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ficilities
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facilities
 for appearing positive effect in various aspects of life which was always
debetable
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debatable
.Has now become more controversial,it is
benefisial
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beneficial
while
 others reject
this
 notion.The substantial influence of
this
 trend has sparked controversy over
the
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its
show examples
 potential impact in recent years. Analyzing the statement and exploring
further
 the first and the
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foremost
formost
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most important
show examples
 reason behind
this
 is that any
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approach
approash
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approach
consist
Correct subject-verb agreement
consists
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 of
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 advantages and disadvantages
that
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apply
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if
i
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I
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 argue
the
Correct article usage
apply
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part 1,
i
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I
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 will say communities are becoming more
awareness
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aware
show examples
 than
praviosly
Correct your spelling
previously
 that,s
mean
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means
show examples
 some shops are
expending
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expanding
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 their
aquipments
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equipment
for creating
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to create
show examples
 much more comfortable for the people.
Therefore
,if we can go supermarket and purchase
food
 that
it has
Wrong verb form
is
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 produced in the factory is
the
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a
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 faster way
for providing
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to provide
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food
 rather than
cook
Wrong verb form
cooking
show examples
 in
ypur
Correct your spelling
your
 home. Another
strinking
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striking
 benefit in
this
 regard is that
this
 process could develop unexpected
the
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apply
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economis
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economic
 growth
about
Change preposition
by
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 creating some
jops
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jobs
 for individuals and promoting
finiancial
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financial
 systems. The categorically discussing
,
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apply
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it can not be ignored the
mais
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main
 reason is that
enhansing
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enhancing
 welfare and peace of peoples. Probing ahead,one of the main underlying
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 behind
this
that
Add a missing verb
is that
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 the negative category for
this
 trend is that related to health issues
it
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which
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 means , we do not
Add a missing verb
have some
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some
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any
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 information about how to generate
food
 and what
materliams
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materials
 they
utulizing
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utilise
 in the factory. It is of
the
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apply
show examples
primary importance that we
consue
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consume
food
 that it has created with suitable recepy and healthy protection since after a
ling
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long
show examples
 time it can make
detirementals
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detrimental
 on our bodies especially it
apperas
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appears
 unconscious impression on our mind .
for instance
 my brother ate processed
food
 for
alonf
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a long
along
 time since he could not allocate his time to cooking he engaged to his job
thet
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that
 ultimately,he suffered the
hyperglycemiathat
Correct your spelling
hyperglycemia that
 doctor said
this
 disease has
righ
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right
 communication with processed
food
.Apart from
Correct article usage
the reson
show examples
reson
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reason
reasons
 mentioned above,it can be clearly stated
thay
Correct your spelling
that
 why many are against
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
yhis
Correct your spelling
this
 trend. In
the
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apply
show examples
conclusion to the arguments
aformationed
Correct your spelling
mentioned
 above,one can reach
to
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apply
show examples
a gist
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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that the benefits of buying
food
of
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from
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supermarket
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the supermarket
show examples
 are indeed
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 great to ignore.
Submitted by melicanamdari on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer and more structured organization. Consider using separate paragraphs for each main point and including more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
The introduction could more clearly outline the advantages and disadvantages of access to global food supplies in supermarkets. Ensure the main points you wish to discuss are clearly stated.
task achievement
Try to provide more relevant, specific examples to strengthen your points. While you did mention a personal anecdote, more data, statistics, or other specific examples would enhance your argument.
task achievement
You mentioned the economic benefits of supermarket food, noting job creation and economic growth, which is an insightful point.
task achievement
You showed awareness of the complexities involved in purchasing processed food with a nod to potential health issues.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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