In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. some people believe it is more important to protect the ciuntryside and not build new homes there.

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There is no denying the fact that building a new
house
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is a crucial matter
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
so
people
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allocate
a
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apply
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significant attention to their
house
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's location.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that the only space available for building them is in the
countryside
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, there is
also
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an argument that some
people
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believe it is more crucial to protect the
countryside
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and not build new houses there. In my
opinine
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opinion
, I believe that building a
house
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in the
countryside
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must be organised with some regulations in order to protect these areas.
To begin
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with, these days most cities
suffering
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suffer
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from traffic
popluationa
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pollution
and congestion.
In other words
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, building a
house
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in some cities is not a choice
due to
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the mentioned factors.
Therefore
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,
people
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tend to build their houses in the
countryside
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which
provide
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provides
show examples
wide space and several choices to them compared to the limited spaces in cityside.
For example
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, if you want to buy
a
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apply
show examples
land in a city, your choices will be limited
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
a small spaces
Correct the article-noun agreement
a small space
small spaces
show examples
. Another point to consider, the
countryside
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must be protected by some regulations to prevent any future mistakes. It is
also
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possible to say that, we can not forbid
people
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from buying new houses in the
countryside
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, but we can regulate those
purchses
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purchases
.
Moreover
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,
allocate
Wrong verb form
allocating
show examples
the utmost care to preserve our environment is a must.
For instance
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, if we
did
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do
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not regulate the process, it may affect the
countryside
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and it will
threatn
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threaten
our environment. In conclusion, despite
people
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having different points of view, I tend to believe that we can not limit the
popluation
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population
congestion in the
countryside
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, but we must
regulat
Correct your spelling
regulate
it to limit its adverse effect.
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coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. Transitions from city challenges to countryside regulations can be made smoother.
task achievement
Expand on specific examples to illustrate ideas more concretely. Consider using recent studies or notable case instances.
task achievement
Ensure to address all parts of the task comprehensively. For example, consider discussing environmental preservation measures if building in the countryside is necessary.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion are present, providing a good framework for the essay.
task achievement
Ideas are generally clear, despite some grammatical errors, and effectively communicate the main argument.
task achievement
Attempts to balance development and environmental conservation, reflecting depth of thought.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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