Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it

#people #attention

Group

Correct article usage

A group

show examples

citizens

believe that definitely announcing is the best way to encourage others

for

Change preposition

show examples

buy

products

On the other hand

, many

citizens

said that advertising is very ordinary and they do not matter to it. I agree with the first mindset. It is crucial for

citizens

to recognize

products

that they should buy as their needs. Mostly announcing could help to introduce these goods. Because, these days, many

citizens

access

Add a missing verb

have access

show examples

to smart devices and

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

. It is available anywhere and cheap. So many

citizens

, especially the young generation whenever they want to

buying

Change the verb

buy

show examples

something, first they search

Change preposition

show examples

various websites and social media. Exactly, it is gold time that announcing appears to tempt others. I believe that people desire to

buying

Change the verb

buy

show examples

known goods or at least

seeing

Wrong verb form

see

show examples

them once. People do not like

products

that they have never seen

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

before.

Announcements

can give them

feeling

Correct article usage

a feeling

show examples

trust

Change preposition

of trust

show examples

. After that quality of their goods can improve their business.

For instance

, if someone recommended

you

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Coca-cola

Correct your spelling

Coca-Cola

show examples

and an unknown drink, you probably prefer Coca-Cola.

On the other hand

, some

citizens

think that they have been knowledgeable enough and exactly announcing can not impact them.

Announcements

give us the power of focus and do not let us have a good buying. It has

happen

Change the verb form

happened

show examples

so many times, people

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

bought something new just based on

announcements

, and intimately they have regretted it.

In addition

, it takes us many times so it is a kind of waste of our time . In conclusion,

announcements

can help humans to have a convenient choice. It is the best way to

figuring

Wrong verb form

figure

show examples

out what

products

are best.

Submitted by mozhdeh_yousefi on Sat Nov 23 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Try to develop a clearer structure in your argument to improve logical progression. Consider using more transition words and phrases to clarify connections.

Task Achievement

Explore ideas more comprehensively. Adding more detailed explanations and examples would strengthen your argument and make your points clearer.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame your essay nicely.

Task Achievement

You've introduced a relevant example about Coca-Cola which enhances your argument about brand recognition due to advertising.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

persuade
promote
attract
influence
impact
consumerism
commercialism
market
product
brand
endorsement
manipulative
saturated
overwhelmed
repetitive
distracting
irrelevant
exaggerated
misleading
desensitized

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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say History is one of most important school subjects other people think that, in today world,subject like science and technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that job satisfaction is the most important factor when looking for a job. Others think that having job security is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this wil have a positive or negative impact on society?

Students are becoming more and more reliant on the Internet. While the Internet is helpful for students, it has many negative effects, and its use for educational purposes should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?