Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In the modern era, most
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
use social media
in everyday for their communication
between the surrounding Replace the word
communicate
people
to get daily updates of
the news. Change preposition
on
However
, people
keep touch
with others, I disagree Change preposition
in touch
with
Change preposition
that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
is
not Correct subject-verb agreement
are
overweigh
the disadvantages because there are some reasons Verb problem
outweigh
such
as spending social media
will ruin people
morality, health issues and Change noun form
people's
also
it will affect careers
growth.
Change the noun form
career
To begin
with, many people
are using mobile phone
in their Fix the agreement mistake
phones
day to day
activities Add a hyphen
day-to-day
especially
social Add the comma(s)
, especially
media
, and they spent
too much time Wrong verb form
spend
for
Change preposition
on
this
application for the
communication with Correct article usage
apply
the
neighbors and friends and Correct article usage
apply
unfortunately
it Add a comma
unfortunately,
brings
out sick. Verb problem
makes
For instance
, one of my cousin
Change noun form
cousin's
brother
, Change to a plural noun
brothers
he
spent more than a time Correct pronoun usage
apply
for
social Change preposition
on
media
, particularly, whats app
, Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
facebook
and Capitalize word
Facebook
twitter
. Capitalize word
Twitter
This
usage makes him mentally sick and have
Change the verb form
has
the
severe Correct article usage
apply
head ache
, Correct your spelling
headache
still
he is on meditation. Add a comma
still,
Additionally
, it will ruin the people
morality even Change noun form
people's
some
Correct word choice
if some
people
are active in the office working hours because of the addiction and moreover
it will affect the career growth development Add a comma
moreover,
such
as lazy activity and receives
negative comments from the superior.
Wrong verb form
receiving
On the other hand
, people
are get
well connected with Change the verb form
get
the
Change the word
their
neighbors
and families easily. Change the spelling
neighbours
For example
, people
, who is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
in
social Change preposition
on
media
, they
can observe some hot news about politics, sports, cinema, Correct pronoun usage
apply
geography
, and Correct word choice
and geography
also
they can chat to find or explore new things differently. Apart from
this
, people
can share their opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
who
can connect for Correct word choice
and
the
good Correct article usage
apply
protest
Fix the agreement mistake
protests
in
Change preposition
on
the
social Correct article usage
apply
platform
and they can Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
also
intimate to people
as
whether warnings or festivals sharing.
Change preposition
apply
To conclude
, there are many people
using social media
has some advantages to know
about Wrong verb form
knowing
the
daily news information and Correct article usage
apply
also
there are some disadvantages such
as spoiling their character, continuous
usage of mobile Correct word choice
and continuous
will suffer
health Verb problem
causes
condition
and Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
also
careerRephrase
apply
down
. in my Change preposition
apply
opinion
I would say Add a comma
opinion,
this
kind of usage of social media
is not advantages
is to Replace the word
advantageous
over weigh
the disadvantagesCorrect your spelling
overweigh
Submitted by saravanan.ko2011 on
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coherence cohesion
Improve clarity by organizing ideas in a more logical order, breaking down complex sentences, and using clearer transitions between points.
task achievement
Ensure each paragraph fully develops an idea, with examples that directly relate to the main point of the paragraph.
task achievement
Balance the coverage of both advantages and disadvantages; currently, the focus seems more on the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and recognizable, with a stated position.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of social media use.
task achievement
Some relevant examples are provided, like the story about a cousin's social media usage affecting his health.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...