Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In the modern era, most
people
use social
media
in
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
to communicate with surrounding
people
to get daily updates on the news.
However
,
people
keep in touch with others, I disagree that the advantages do not outweigh the disadvantages because there are some reasons
such
as spending on social
media
will ruin
people
’s morality, and health issues and
also
it will affect career growth.
To begin
with, many
people
are using mobile phones in their day-to-day activities, especially social
media
, and they spend too much time on
these application
Change the determiner
this application
these applications
show examples
for communication with neighbours and friends and unfortunately, it makes out sick.
For instance
, one of my cousin’s brothers,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
spent more than a time on social
media
, particularly, WhatsApp, Facebook and Twitter.
This
usage makes him mentally sick and has severe
headache
Fix the agreement mistake
headaches
show examples
, still, he is on meditation.
Additionally
, it will ruin the
people
’s morality even if some
people
are active in the office working hours because of the addiction and
moreover
, it will affect the career growth development
such
as lazy activity and receiving negative comments from the superior.
On the other hand
,
people
get well connected with their neighbours and families easily.
For example
,
people
, who are on social
media
, can observe some hot news about politics, sports, cinema, and geography, and
also
they can chat to find or explore new things differently.
Apart from
this
,
people
can share their opinions and can connect for good protest on social platforms and they can
also
intimate to
people
whether warnings or festivals sharing.
To conclude
, there are many
people
using social
media
has
Verb problem
There are
show examples
some advantages to knowing about daily news information
and
Correct word choice
but
show examples
also
there are some disadvantages
such
as spoiling their character, and continuous usage of mobile causes health
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
and career. in my opinion, I would say
this
kind of usage of social
media
is not advantageous because it overweighs the disadvantages
Submitted by saravanan.ko2011 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure the arguments support the thesis statement consistently throughout the essay. For instance, stating disagreement with advantages but later discussing their presence may confuse readers.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and data to strengthen your points. This will enhance the reliability of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully structured your essay with a clear introduction and conclusion. This makes your arguments easier to follow.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic and presented both advantages and disadvantages, showing an understanding of the task requirements.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilitate
  • geographically separated
  • fostering
  • connectivity
  • instant communication
  • real-time information
  • misinformation
  • rigorous checks and balances
  • fake news
  • addictive nature
  • detract
  • face-to-face interactions
  • mental health
  • awareness of limitations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: