IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think governments should spend money in looking for life on other planets, while others think that there are many unsolved problems on earth. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, since technology has improved significantly, scientists have the ability to explore unknown areas in
space
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.
However
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, some criticisms may argue that we should focus the issues on earth rather than
space
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. I consider that it is more important to solve
problems
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 on our planet. On the one hand, discovering
space
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 can provide our society with lots of benefits.
First,
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astronomy and technology may have plenty of opportunities to be upgraded or invented because scientists and engineers want to explore successfully in unfamiliar and dangerous
space
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.
For example
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, the company,
Space
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 X, aimed to search other planets in an economical way.
As a result
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, it produced the cheapest and reusable spacecraft in the world.
Second,
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looking for life in
space
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 may give us hope to migrate to a new planet. If other planets have life, they must contain water, air, and sunlight. We may have a chance to keep thriving in another area.
On the other hand
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, some people contend that exploring
space
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 wastes enormous resources and money. The government should put more effort into enhancing our living conditions since there are abundant
problems
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 that need to be solved.
For example
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, the price of a house increases dramatically,
while
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 the salary is still stable. People cannot afford to buy a house anymore.
Hence
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, the government should allocate money to mitigate the gap, assisting everyone in having their own house.
Furthermore
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, the government needs to improve our environment rather than find a new home. There are lots of
problems
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 of pollution,
such
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 as air, water or soil. We should find a way to protect the earth and consistently dwell here.
To sum up
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, I can understand that it is exciting to discover new life on other planets.
However
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, we should try our best to solve
problems
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 on earth and live here permanently.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to create more detailed examples to enrich your arguments, particularly in your body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain the flow of the essay, which will help in clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider summarizing the key points in your conclusion to reinforce your opinion more clearly for the reader.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion stating that solving Earth’s problems is more important.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure is logical with distinct paragraphs for each viewpoint.
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