Some people get into debt by buying things they dont need and can't afford. What are the reasons of this behavior? What actions can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

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Currently
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Currently,
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society
show
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is showing
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rise
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a rise
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in
the
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apply
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consumerism, where there are
multple
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multiple
option
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options
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of get
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to getting
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thinks
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things
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, services or property if
somenone
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someone
have
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has
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the
money
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.
However
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, not all things
than
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that
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we
could
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can
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buy are required, but some people get into debt by buying things they
dont
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don't
need and can have a personal
econimic
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economic
crisis. Why
do
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does
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a
person
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fall
in
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into
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a
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apply
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debt with objects that he probably
don't
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doesn't
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need?
firstly
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, that
person
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couldn't have
about
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apply
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self
expedinture
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expenditure
, if he
don't
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doesn't
show examples
have a planing
of
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for
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his economic
responsabilities
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responsibilities
like income and expenses , he will probably waste
money
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easyly
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easily
. Second,
the
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apply
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moderm
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modern
companies have a lot of strategies to
offers
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offer
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their products and service which use
the
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apply
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advertising and
markething
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marketing
to fascinate the emotions and
feelig
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feeling
feelings
of the buyers. So, the products usually are in wherever like social media, streets or phones. Alternatively,
the
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apply
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consumers
need
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need to
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have strategies to avoid
a
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apply
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bad
economical
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economic
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
.
At
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In
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the
begining
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beginning
, every
person
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need
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needs
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to have a
finantial
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financial
plan
acording
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according
their
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to their
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self
money
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or resources
as well as
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their
responsabilities
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responsibilities
(bills, debts, essential
cost
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costs
show examples
, among other things); it could help to distinguish
betweens
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between
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entertainment waste from necessary costs in
selflife
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self-life
self life
.
afterward
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afterwards
show examples
, every
person
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need
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needs
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have
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to have
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a critical opinion, so it's
importan
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important
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to promove
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promove
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promote
a
finantian
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financial
education.
Therefore
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,
buy
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buying
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
is
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not bad but
if
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it
show examples
need
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needs
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to be regulated by
an
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a
show examples
critical position of the
consummers
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consumer
. Is very important to have
clarafy
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clarity
clarify
about how we should
organice
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organise
organize
our
money
Use synonyms
resources and
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
strategies to avoid
debts
Fix the agreement mistake
debt
show examples
.
Submitted by mariajoser3 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph structure by clearly separating ideas and ensuring each paragraph centers on one main idea.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points and strengthen your argument.
language
Focus on improving the accuracy of vocabulary and grammatical structures.
task achievement
The essay successfully addresses both tasks: identifying reasons for consumer debt and suggesting preventive measures.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion clearly outline the main topic and summarize the suggestions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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