IELTS Writing Correction Service /
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Band 5

You should spend about 40 min on this task. Write about the following topic: More people are educating themselves with online educational sources. Do the advantages overweigh the disadvantages.

#min #topic #people #sources #overweigh
Nowadays, the educational system has various
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
types. In fact,some
people
 prefer to educate themselves online. Some
people
 believe that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
 are teaching themselves online. In
tis
Correct your spelling
this
 essay I will provide some advantages and disadvantages of self-educational sources.
Overall
, online educational
servises
Correct your spelling
services
 are more
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 for
people
 with disabilities and for learners who need to revise the lesson, as
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of
courses
 provide online
video-lessons
Correct your spelling
video lessons
show examples
 that can be rewatched.
However
, it might be hard to learn something without
a teachers
Correct the article-noun agreement
teachers
a teacher
show examples
 and their feedback. That's why
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
. One of the main pros is that online educational
courses
 provide
video-lessons
Correct your spelling
video lessons
show examples
 to consumers
,
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apply
show examples
 so that they can rewatch and revise the topic
thry
Correct your spelling
they
 couldn't understand. Take companies
who
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that
show examples
 give
video-
Correct your spelling
video courses
show examples
courses
 as an example. The learner can rewatch the media, in order to review the information. It helps understand the topic better. Another advantage is that online
courses
 are
a
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apply
show examples
way more
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 for
people
 with disabilities. Take a person without
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 ability to walk as an instance. The student wouldn't be burdened with
a
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the
show examples
 problem of getting to an educational centre, as it is
nessesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 in
offlone
Correct your spelling
offline
 education.
Therefore
, more
disable
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disabled
show examples
people
 will be able to study themselves right at home.
On the other hand
, It might be difficult to study
withot
Correct your spelling
without
with
 a teacher.
For example
, if a self-educating student had a question about a topic, he or she wouldn't
got
Change the verb form
get
be got
show examples
 the answer without a teacher. In conclusion, many
people
 are self-teaching with online
courses
 and it has its pros
such
 as the opportunity to
Submitted by galkalialex on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on the disadvantages you mention. Your essay could benefit from a more balanced discussion between the advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Make sure all sentences are complete. Some sentences seem to be cut off or incomplete.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words to improve the flow of your arguments. This will help guide the reader through your points more smoothly.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples that support the advantages of online education, such as the accessibility for people with disabilities.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the main discussion point and provides a preview of the essay's content.
task achievement
You show an understanding of the topic's relevance in today’s educational landscape.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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