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Some people prefer full-time jobs because they offer stability. Other people prefer casual jobs because of the freedom they offer discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #jobs #offer #stability #freedom
Full-time
jobs
 are often proposed as a way to achieve
stability
.
While
 some believe that
this
 approach would be effective, others tend to do part-time professions, claiming that these types of
jobs
 preserve time and offer them freedom. In my opinion,
although
 full-time
jobs
 contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
stability
 and ensure
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
show examples
 future, having some time for ourselves and space for our private life is crucial, which can be achieved by casual
jobs
. On one hand, full-time
jobs
 play a significant role in building a bright future and
ensures
Wrong verb form
ensuring
show examples
 financial
stability
.
For instance
, doctors and architectures who work averaging around eight hours per day gain high salaries, which lead to financial
stability
 that allows them to
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
 their
families
Change noun form
family's
families'
show examples
 needs
such
 as paying tuition fees for their children’s education or
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to various places during summer vacations,
whereas
 part-time clerks may not be capable to hold same responsibilities. Others prefer doing casual
jobs
, assuming that the financial situation is only one minimal factor of several factors that create happiness . They tend to work only four hours per day and spend the rest of their time, focusing on themselves, like chilling with some friends
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
staying at home with their families or even meditating.
additionally
, they believe that part-time occupations not only offer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freedom
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 maintain good mental health by reducing stress and depression. In conclusion, it’s undeniable that full-time
jobs
 have a huge role in
stability
 particularly the financial part of it, I believe that casual
jobs
 are more flexible and contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 improving our mental health by offering more space and freedom.
Submitted by sandraabdulkarim1 on

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task response
To enhance task response, ensure that each viewpoint is equally developed for a balanced discussion, and fully articulate your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focus on strengthening the logical connections between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your argument.
structure
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing each view, and a conclusion.
support
The inclusion of examples, such as doctors and part-time clerks, effectively exemplifies the arguments presented.
clarity
The writer's opinion is clearly stated, acknowledging the importance of balance between work and personal life.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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