Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in school to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today's world, being able to manage your finances has become an essential skill as it is a much more complex factor compared to the past. Things like being in charge of a
bussiness
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business
, calculating taxes
and
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apply
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etc.,
requair
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require
the person to have knowledge in
this
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field. So,
i
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I
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tend to agree on the subject to a certain area.
To begin
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with, the first thing that a person needs after becoming an adult or independent
,
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apply
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is to find a job
for covering
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to cover
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up his or her life
expanses
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expenses
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. In
this
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matter, the individuals with higher financial management skills often
over power
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overpower
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their competitors, who have less knowledge in
this
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area.
For instance
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, those with higher experience know how to save their money and not
to
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apply
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spend every
peny
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penny
of it, or how to grow the saving by investing it in the right place like buying
a
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apply
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land or a share of a company with high
groth
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growth
potential.
Overall
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, I mentioned all the
factes
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facts
factors
facets
above to say that I think it is a very smart move for schools to include financial
lecturs
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lectures
as compulsory subjects.
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Moreover
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Moreover,
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by doing so,
every one
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everyone
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has at least a clear view of how to deal with their finances by the time they finish school.
As a result
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, we would witness
less
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fewer
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legal problems related to tax, loan fees and any other financial factor that
need
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needs
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certain information.
To conclude
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, in my
opinion
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opinion,
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compulsory financial subjects are needed in schools and they can
also
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be much more useful than some other lectures, as they provide
an essential information
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essential information
a piece of essential information
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that helps you in
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the latter
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latter
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later
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life stages.
Submitted by Taha Sol. on

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Task Achievement
Ensure all parts of the question are addressed comprehensively. For example, you could explore both sides of the argument before explaining your stance.
Language Use
Make sure to use correct spelling and grammar throughout your essay to convey your ideas more clearly. Watch out for small errors such as 'bussiness' instead of 'business', 'requair' instead of 'require', and 'expanses' instead of 'expenses'.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make connections between your points more explicit to enhance the flow across your essay. This will improve the coherence of your explanation.
Task Achievement
You provided a clear stance on the topic and reiterated your position throughout the essay, which is effective in conveying your overall argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the response well, contributing to a structured narrative.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively recognizes the growing importance of financial skills in contemporary society, which is a relevant observation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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