Some people claim that students should take short-term gap after their study but other people says that its should not be. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that during study
students
Use synonyms
feel pressure with their hectic
sechdules
Correct your spelling
schedules
.
Therefore
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, some people encourage
students
Use synonyms
to take
short-term
Correct article usage
a short-term
show examples
gap
Use synonyms
after their graduation,
there
Correct word choice
but there
show examples
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I'm convinced that
short-term
Correct article usage
a short-term
show examples
gap
Use synonyms
is not
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
practical
advise
Replace the word
advice
show examples
for fresh
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
.
To begin
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with, people who
claimed
Wrong verb form
claim
show examples
that
Correct article usage
the shor-term
show examples
shor-term
Correct your spelling
short-term
gap
Use synonyms
is beneficial for
students
Use synonyms
believe
Add the particle
to believe
show examples
that
this
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term will
assest
Correct your spelling
assist
them
to explore
Change preposition
in exploring
show examples
their dreams.
In other words
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, in that short-term
students
Use synonyms
will analyse their choices and plans in order to
decied
Correct your spelling
decide
decided
what they will do in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
lives.
In addition
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,
students
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'
last
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year
involve
Change the verb form
involves
show examples
a hectic
sechdule
Correct your spelling
schedule
, so taking a short-term
gap
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will make them feel relief.
For example
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, they can utilize that
gap
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with
thier
Correct your spelling
their
famlies
Correct your spelling
families
or their friends. Another point to consider is that some studies have proven that taking a short-term
gap
Use synonyms
after graduation will
leave
Verb problem
have
show examples
an adverse
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
. It is
also
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possible to say that,
students
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may stop their education
after
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this
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gap
Use synonyms
because they may forget their dreams.
Moreover
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, taking
this
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gap
Use synonyms
will make their
journy
Correct your spelling
journey
longer. In conclusion, despite people having different points of view, I tend to believe that
students
Use synonyms
must be dedicated in order to
achive thier
Correct your spelling
achieve their
dreams,
however
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, if they
felt
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
that pressure is upon their limit, taking a short-term
gab
Correct your spelling
gap
show examples
in
this
Linking Words
situation would be beneficial.
Submitted by omima7a7md on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the clarity and complexity of your sentences for better readability.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've included an introduction and conclusion that outline the main points you'll discuss.
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The essay presents a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, showing good task response.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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