IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Nowadays governments are investing more in public transport such as buses and trains rather than in building new roads. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#governments #transport #buses #trains #roads
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The governments are thinking of making public
transport
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 making new
roads
. We will discuss the advantages and disadvantages. I will give you my opinion about
this
 statement.
Firstly
, there are many advantages to
but
Correct word choice
apply
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a
Remove the article
apply
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public transportation than building new
roads
. When you put buses and trains you will make life better for the
people
 because the traffic will be less. And the train is the
faster
Correct word choice
fastest
show examples
transport
 you can use if you are busy. There are
people
 who don’t have a car that they can use, and they can use public
transport
.
However
, there are many disadvantages to
putting
Verb problem
using
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 public
transport
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 building new
roads
. The price of public
transport
 will be too much for a lot of
people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because the government will pay for the driver, the gas and buy a new bus. There is a time when the bus comes and there are a lot of
people
 who don’t have time to wait for the bus and want to go earlier.
Last
 but not least, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
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 I think if you build new
roads
, it is better than putting in new
transport
 because you will pay less money. And there are a lot of
people
 who can not pay for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
transport
.
Submitted by superalialhaddad on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the clarity and logic in your arguments to make them more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to strengthen your points.
Task Achievement
Aim for more detailed explanations for each point made to fully explore all dimensions of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay introduces the topic effectively and concludes with a personal opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
The main ideas are clearly introduced in each paragraph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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