In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a possitive or a negative development?

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NOWADAYS, MANY
PEOPLE
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

'S PREFERENCE IS HIRING A PERSONAL
FITNESS
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

TRAINER, RATHER THAN JOINING
GROUP
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

CLASSES. THERE ARE VARIOUS REASONS WHY
PEOPLE
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

DO IT AND I BELIEVE THAT IT IS COMPLETELY POSITIVE TENDENCY. ONE OF THE REASONS OF HIRING PRIVATE
FITNESS
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

TRAINERS
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

IS BUSY SCHEDULE.
DUE TO
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

WORK CONDITIONS AND A BUSY SCHEDULE
PEOPLE
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

HAVE DIFFICULTIES
FOR
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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JOINING
GROUP
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

LESSONS
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, ULTIMATELY
IT
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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MAKES THEM
TO
Fix the infinitive
apply

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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TAKE PART IN PRIVATE CLASSES.
FOR INSTANCE
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, IN AZERBAIJAN WORKING
IN
Change preposition
ON

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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5
Correct article usage
A 5

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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TO 9 SCHEDULE RESULTED IN HIRING PRIVATE
FITNESS
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

TRAINERS
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. APART FROM THAT,
DUE TO
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

LACK
Correct article usage
A LACK

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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MOTIVATION
Change preposition
OF MOTIVATION

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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, TO ELABORATE IT, SOME
PEOPLE
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

HAVING LACK OF MOTIVATION AND ATTENTION THEY ARE LESS LIKELY
ENGAGING
Change the verb form
TO ENGAGE

ENGAGING doesn’t seem to work here.

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IN SPORTS
LONG
Change preposition
FOR LONG

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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HOURS.
THESE KIND
Change the determiner
THIS KIND
THESE KINDS

It appears that the plural demonstrative THESE is modifying the singular noun KIND. Consider using a singular demonstrative or a plural noun instead.

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OF
PEOPLE
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, REALIZE THAT DOING SPORT
BY
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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UNDER THE PRIVATE
FITNESS
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

TRAINERS
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

' PRESSURE MIGHT FORCE THEM
WORKING
Change the verb form
TO WORK

WORKING doesn’t seem to work here.

show examples
HARD. WORKING WITH PRIVATE
TRAINERS
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

YIELD
Correct subject-verb agreement
YIELDS

It seems that the verb YIELD does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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POSITIVE RESULTS. IN THE FIRST PLACE, IT IS BENEFICIAL BOTH
TRAINERS
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

AND INDIVIDUALS. SINCE, ALL ATTENTION ARE GATHERED ON ONE PERSON, AND INDIVIDUALS WHO
UNDER
Add a missing verb
ARE UNDER

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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TRAINERS
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

' PRESSURE GET BETTER RESULTS , THEY ARE DOING
SPORT
Fix the agreement mistake
SPORTS MORE

It seems that SPORT may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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EFFICIENTLY THAN THOSE WHO
ENGAGED
Wrong verb form
ENGAGE

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb ENGAGED. Consider changing it.

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IN
GROUP
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

CLASS
Fix the agreement mistake
CLASSES

It seems that CLASS may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
. APART FROM THAT,
TRAINERS
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

GET MUCH MORE INCOME FROM PRIVATE
LESSONS
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, RATHER THAN
GROUP
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

LESSONS
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, AS PRIVATE
LESSONS
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

ARE COSTLY.
ADDITIONALLY
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, GETTING MUCH INCOME BY WORKING A PRIVATE
FITNESS
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

MAKING
Wrong verb form
MAKES

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb MAKING. Consider changing it.

show examples
PEOPLE
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

TO
Fix the infinitive
apply

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

show examples
OPT FOR
THIS
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

PROFESSION,
THEREFORE
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

MANY
SPORT
Change the noun form
SPORTS

It appears that the noun SPORT is being used as an adjective, but you may have chosen incorrectly between the singular and plural form. Consider changing the noun form.

show examples
TRAINERS
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

MEAN MANY
HEALTH
Replace the word
HEALTHY

The word HEALTH doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
PEOPLE
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
TO CONCLUDE
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, HAVING BUSY SCHEDULES AND LACK OF MOTIVATION FORCE
PEOPLE
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

TO GET PRIVATE
TRAINERS
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, IT YIELD POSITIVE OUTCOMES FOR INDIVIDUALS AND
TRAINERS
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task question comprehensively. Although you have addressed reasons for hiring personal trainers and evaluated whether it is a positive development, offering slightly more depth in your discussion around each point would elevate your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the clarity of your ideas by organizing them into clear, distinct paragraphs. Currently, some ideas are a bit jumbled and lack a smooth progression within the paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures for smoother readability, as well as checking for grammatical issues that may obscure your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your points from the start and providing a solid summary at the end.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the situation in Azerbaijan, which adds a solid support to your points.
Task Achievement
The essay not only introduces reasons but also evaluates them as a positive or negative, showing a balanced overview of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal fitness trainer
  • playing sports
  • exercise classes
  • individualized
  • motivation
  • accountability
  • expert guidance
  • injury prevention
  • safety
  • efficiency
  • time management
  • results
  • progress tracking
  • professional equipment
  • social aspect
  • networking
  • higher cost
What to do next:
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