IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that in the future, environmental problems will mean that we are unable to live on this planet. In order to survive, the human species will need to find another planet that can support life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #future #planet #species #support #life
Some scientists and researchers suggested that the future of humanity faces real danger. Some say that the harm we have
made
Verb problem
done
show examples
 to Earth’s climate, and the issue of overpopulation mean that we now must look for a new
planet
 to live on. I believe that it is our responsibility to look after our world and
trying
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
 to fix the damage we’ve done, as it may be the only home we will ever have. Many climate change scientists warned us that we are past ‘the point of returning’ with
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming.
Furthermore
, we have had a huge impact on the climate and
this
 can’t be changed to
improved
Change the form of the verb
improve
show examples
 in the future.
In addition
 to
this
, the human population is expanding.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 many experts claim that the best solution would be to invest in technology which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will help us start again on another
planet
.But
this
 attitude seems irresponsible.
In other words
, it is essential that we look
after
this
planet
 better. Rather than investing in space travel, we should be becoming more environmental-friendly, and protecting ourselves from the results of global warming.
For example
,
flood
Fix the agreement mistake
floods
show examples
 and the loss of agriculture.
To conclude
, yet
although
 our situation seems
desparate
Correct your spelling
desperate
, human beings are responsible for the
planet
 that they evolved on. It has been our home for many thousands of years, and we must now dedicate
to
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves to
show examples
 decreasing the harm caused by people’s actions here. Maybe we cannot find another
planet
that is
 good for life and easy for travelling.
Submitted by alessandrorepola.repola on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider expanding on specific solutions currently available to address environmental issues instead of focusing solely on space travel investments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph fully supports the main point it introduces, using examples whenever possible to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents your opinion, framing the discussion effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay concludes with a strong statement, reinforcing the responsibility humans have toward the Earth.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental degradation
  • sustainable development
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • biodiversity loss
  • climate change
  • greenhouse gases
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitable planets
  • space colonization
  • terraforming
  • ethical dilemmas
  • resource allocation
  • technological advancements
What to do next:
Look at other essays: