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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the cost of water in 5 cities in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The table shows the cost of water in 5 cities in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
#cost #water #cities #australia #summarise #information #features
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The table
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 information about the
price
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 for two categories of consumers who use less than 125
killolitres
Correct your spelling
kilolitres
, and those who consume more than 125KL , for five
cities
Use synonyms
 in Australia.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the average bill per
hausehold
Correct your spelling
household
, in these
cities
Use synonyms
, is shown in another column.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in the
first
Use synonyms
 group, with usage up to 125KL,
Adelaid
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
 and Perth have the lowest
price
Use synonyms
, 0.42 dollars. Compared to other
cities
Use synonyms
, people in Sydney who fall in the
first
Use synonyms
 category, pay more for a litre of
water
Use synonyms
, $0.98.
Use synonyms
Price
Correct article usage
The price
show examples
 in Brisbane is marginally more than
Melbourne
Change preposition
in Melbourne
show examples
, with 3 cents more, it is $.81. Interestingly, people using more than 125KL in Sydney, pay the same
price
Use synonyms
;
moreover
Linking Words
, there is no
price
Use synonyms
differenciation
Correct your spelling
differentiation
 for Melbourn.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 Pert and
Adelaid
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
 are the cheapest
cities
Use synonyms
 for those in the
first
Use synonyms
 group, these
cities
Use synonyms
 are the most expensive
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 for
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 are not
fruigal
Correct your spelling
frugal
 with
water
Use synonyms
. dwellers in Adelaid and Pert Have to be charged $1.00 and 1.5 dollars per
killolitres
Correct your spelling
kilolitres
 when
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
consomption
Correct your spelling
consumption
exceed
Correct subject-verb agreement
exceeds
show examples
 125KL.
Finally
Linking Words
,
water
Use synonyms
 pricing is moderate,
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as the
first
Use synonyms
 category, in Brisbane, with only three cents higher, it is 0.84 dollars.
in addition
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 average, people pay more than others for their
water
Use synonyms
 bills,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Submitted by faraisam33 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words price, water, kl, cities, first with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cost
  • water consumption
  • billing method
  • variation
  • historical trends
  • outlier
  • price range
  • anomalies
  • regional factor
  • summarise
  • identify
  • compare
  • expensive
  • least expensive
  • main features
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