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Band 5

In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it?

#countries #people #stress #measures
People
 who are suffering from a large amount of
stress
,
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apply
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 should know that they are not alone in their problem. Anyone could face
to
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apply
show examples
stress
, and could not find a way out, based on his ability to analyze and support from close
people
. It does not matter if you are a small manager or a
cheif
Correct your spelling
chief
 executive officer, you could be affected by
stress
, or depression and the consequences of that.
Firstly
, it might be related to common
people
 problems,
for example
, by working overtime you spend less time on things that are essential for you, communication with relatives, healthcare,
leasure
Correct your spelling
leisure
 and many different activities that may be
leaved
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left
show examples
 out
due to
 lack of time.
Consequently
, it leads to excessive
stress
, and misunderstanding
the
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of the
show examples
 situation.
However
, it is not too late, and some steps could still be taken to prevent
this
 issue's spread.
For example
, TCS conducted a
stress
-management survey in the workplace.
As a result
, they arranged some one-on-one sessions with top psychologists to find the common reasons for the cause of
stress
 among their employees.
Therefore
, every company should take appropriate steps to help their staff manage
stress
 for the good sake of their employees and for their own well-being. In conclusion,
although
 the number of
people
 struggling with
stress
 rises, thankfully, some solutions to
this
 problem still exist.
Stress
 which is being experienced by human beings throughout their lives can be cured easily with proper treatment.
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advice for improvement
1. Provide a more detailed introduction to clearly outline the causes of stress and measures to tackle it. This will make your essay more compelling and focused from the start. 2. Improve the coherence by ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs to better link your ideas together, thereby strengthening the overall flow of the essay. 3. Offer more specific examples for the causes of stress to make your arguments more convincing and concrete.
suggestion to emphasize
You mentioned the role of companies in managing stress, which is a relevant and specific example. Keep finding such pertinent points.
coherence and structure highlight
The essay addresses causes and solutions to stress, both logically and coherently. You have provided a well-rounded response in general.
example highlight
The illustration of TCS conducting stress-management surveys is a strong, relevant example that enriches the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Work-life balance
  • Burnout
  • Digital detox
  • Mindfulness
  • Coping mechanisms
  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy
  • Financial stability
  • Public awareness campaigns
  • Resilience training
  • Support networks
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