IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

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Research
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 in medical science is important for finding
cure
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a cure
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 for the infections and diseases which affect human health. It is debated by some individuals that
experiments
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 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other living
beings
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 should be forbidden and banned
while
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,
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apply
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other
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others
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 think that it is necessary to invent new cures. I believe that it is
inhuman
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inhumane
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 to kill innocent
creatures
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 for conducting lab
tests
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instead
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,
single celled
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single-celled
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 organisms like bacteria and
fungi
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 can be used. Upcoming writing will shed light on some points supporting my viewpoints. It is drastic how hundreds of living
beings
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 are sacrificed
for conducting
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to conduct
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 the lab
tests
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. Several pharmaceuticals conduct
experiments
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 on
the
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apply
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other living
beings
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 to invent new medicines and earn
billion
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billions
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 of dollars.
For example
Linking Words
, Pencilin which
cure
Correct subject-verb agreement
cures
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 infections was invented by sacrificing rats, monkeys and rabbits.
Experiments
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 are done on
the
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apply
show examples
creatures
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 having similar internal structures as human
beings
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.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is
cruel
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a cruel
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 act of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans to
kills
Wrong verb form
kill
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 so many organisms for their benefit. In contemporary times, voice is raised by social service organizations to stop
this
Linking Words
 unethical act,
due to
Linking Words
 which
experiments
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 are conducted on single cellular
creatures
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 like
fungi
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 and bacteria. As
bacterias
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bacteria
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 and
fungi
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 can replicate in no time, so multiple numbers of
tests
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 take place at the same time.
For instance
Linking Words
,
National
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the National
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Labortary
Correct your spelling
Laboratory
 of America has put
ban
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a ban
show examples
 on sacrificing other
creatures
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 to do different
tests
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. Most
research
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 is carried
on
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out on
show examples
 the
bacteria's
Change noun form
bacteria
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 present in
human
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the human
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 gut.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
bacterias
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bacteria
show examples
 and
fungi
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 are efficient
reciprocal
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reciprocals
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 of doing
research
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 on living
beings
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.
To sum up
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,
although
Linking Words
 various medicines are developed by experimenting on the other organisms
but
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apply
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it is unethical to kill so many of them for our profit.
whereas
Linking Words
, one-celled
creatures
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 are used in the
labortaries
Correct your spelling
laboratories
 to conduct
research
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.

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task achievement
Improve the clarity of expression. There are a few grammatical mistakes and awkward phrases that could be revised for clarity.
task achievement
Try to elaborate on both perspectives more comprehensively, acknowledging the complexities of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the cohesion by ensuring clearer logical links between sentences and paragraphs. Use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic directly and provides a clear opinion on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a structured approach with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The author provides alternatives to animal testing, which strengthens the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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