IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries nowadays, consumer can go to a supermaket and buy food products over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #consumer #supermaket #food #products #world #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, in many regions a supermarket has a huge number of
products
 which are collected from
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
countries
whole
Rephrase
all
show examples
 over the
word
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
. In
this
situation
Add a comma
situation,
show examples
 customers can taste the food that they have never tasted and a lot of jobs will
create
Wrong verb form
be created
show examples
.
as a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 I believe that the positive development of
this
 idea
outweigh
Change the verb form
outweighs
show examples
 its negative. The obvious positive of
this
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
 can experience new
products
 by spending little money. if
people
 want to taste the specific product in
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 which produces it, they have to spend more money in comparison when they buy those foreign
products
 in
Add an article
a supermarket
the supermarket
show examples
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
show examples
 near them.
to
Capitalize word
To
show examples
 support
this
, I can explain tasting different foods is one of the
interesting
Correct quantifier usage
most interesting
show examples
 hobbies for
people
 as they like to experience things that they have never experienced. The other advantage is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there are some job opportunities for
people
 in both importing and exporting
countries
. By
this
, I mean that the number of
products
 which
export
Wrong verb form
are exported
show examples
 to other societies need
produce
Wrong verb form
produced
show examples
 more than before so exporting
countries
 require
stablish
Correct your spelling
establish
established
 various factories which
employee
Replace the word
employ
show examples
 more
people
 and
also
 importing
counties
Correct your spelling
countries
show examples
 need more employees to sell foreign
products
.
On the other hand
, some local
products
 are highly likely
die
Add the particle
to die
show examples
 out. There are many well-known
products
 in supermarkets which do not belong
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
local
Change the word
locally
show examples
 and they catch
attention
Correct article usage
the attention
show examples
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
, so it contributes to
people
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
foreign
Add an article
the foreign
a foreign
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
. In conclusion, there are various
products
 in a supermarket which belong to other
countries
 so customers have numerous choices to perches their needs.
it
Capitalize word
It
show examples
 has a positive idea as
people
 can taste different
products
 and
also
 a huge number of jobs
create
Change the form of the verb
created
show examples
.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 I think the benefits of
this
 idea
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more than its drawbacks.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Consider better structuring your paragraphs. Each major point should start with a clear topic sentence, and supporting sentences should be grouped appropriately. This improves the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Clarify complex ideas with additional explanations or examples. Some areas of the essay have potential to delve deeper into the argument, providing richer context for the reader.
task achievement
Be more specific with examples. By using concrete, detailed examples, you can increase the substance and persuasiveness of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly outline your stance, providing a good framework for the write-up.
task achievement
You address both sides of the argument, recognizing potential negatives while focusing on the positives.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally maintains a logical flow from paragraph to paragraph, making it easy to follow your train of thought.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: