IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

To meet the grow need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some people believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects?

#grow #food #support #population #country #insects #source #people #nature
In the community, some people
states
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state
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 that eating
insects
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to us.
On the other hand
, consuming
insects
are
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is
show examples
 not widely accepted as some people see drawbacks in it. In
this
 essay, I will be discussing both pros and cons
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 having
insects
 as a
food
 source.
Firstly
, treating
insects
 as a
food
 source
got
Verb problem
is
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 valid point. Our planet is currently carrying a massive
food
 problem.
According to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent research, carbon dioxide
emmissions
Correct your spelling
emissions
 from
the
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apply
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cows, pigs and
chikens
Correct your spelling
chickens
 are far exceeding the limitations.
Therefore
, climate changes caused by global warming could cause
servere
Correct your spelling
severe
 damage
in
Change preposition
to
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the
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apply
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living habitats.
This
 problem is solved by unleashing our
possesions
Correct your spelling
possessions
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in
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on
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 domestic animals. The process benefits us
in
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by
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 significantly reducing
the
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apply
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harmful gas and providing more surface area on
lands
Fix the agreement mistake
land
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. Moving on to the drawbacks of consuming
insects
, there is a major point in not doing so. The nature regulates
in
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apply
show examples
precise order of the
food
 chains; each of
a
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the
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 small organisms
provide
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provides
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 and
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
in
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to
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 keeping
the
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apply
show examples
nature stable. If somehow we took the important piece of a puzzle that supports
it's
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its
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 structure, we might destroy an entire ecosystem.
This
 needs to be prevented at all costs, which will
be taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
a
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apply
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long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
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 research until we are
finally
 taking
an
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apply
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action.
Therefore
, treating
insects
 as a source of nutrients is not yet happening and will
be taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 a long time.
To conclude
 my essay, I think that changing our daily intake would be a hard topic. If we get to change the position of domestic animals to
insects
, it would be beneficial to
reduction of
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 the harmful gas.
On the other hand
, in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 run, it would possibly cause an unknown effect in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.
Submitted by dokmally2 on

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task achievement
Ensure consistency in verb tenses to improve clarity and professionalism. For instance, in some areas, the present tense is inappropriately used instead of past or present continuous.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention specific insect types and known benefits or harms associated with their consumption.
coherence cohesion
Develop stronger links between the paragraphs for better coherence. Use cohesive devices to guide readers more effectively from one paragraph to another.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to both sides of the argument, discussing the benefits and drawbacks of consuming insects.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion frame your ideas well, providing a solid structure to your essay.
coherence cohesion
You present logical and structured arguments, indicating a thorough understanding of the topic.
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