IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

To meet the grow need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some people believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects?

#grow #food #support #population #country #insects #source #people #nature
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the community, some people
states
Change the verb form
state
show examples
 that eating
insects
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to us.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, consuming
insects
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not widely accepted as some people see drawbacks in it. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will be discussing both pros and cons
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 having
insects
Use synonyms
 as a
food
Use synonyms
 source.
Firstly
Linking Words
, treating
insects
Use synonyms
 as a
food
Use synonyms
 source
got
Verb problem
is
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 valid point. Our planet is currently carrying a massive
food
Use synonyms
 problem.
According to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent research, carbon dioxide
emmissions
Correct your spelling
emissions
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cows, pigs and
chikens
Correct your spelling
chickens
 are far exceeding the limitations.
Therefore
Linking Words
, climate changes caused by global warming could cause
servere
Correct your spelling
severe
 damage
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
living habitats.
This
Linking Words
 problem is solved by unleashing our
possesions
Correct your spelling
possessions
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 domestic animals. The process benefits us
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 significantly reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
harmful gas and providing more surface area on
lands
Fix the agreement mistake
land
show examples
. Moving on to the drawbacks of consuming
insects
Use synonyms
, there is a major point in not doing so. The nature regulates
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
precise order of the
food
Use synonyms
 chains; each of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 small organisms
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 and
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 keeping
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature stable. If somehow we took the important piece of a puzzle that supports
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 structure, we might destroy an entire ecosystem.
This
Linking Words
 needs to be prevented at all costs, which will
be taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 research until we are
finally
Linking Words
 taking
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
action.
Therefore
Linking Words
, treating
insects
Use synonyms
 as a source of nutrients is not yet happening and will
be taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 a long time.
To conclude
Linking Words
 my essay, I think that changing our daily intake would be a hard topic. If we get to change the position of domestic animals to
insects
Use synonyms
, it would be beneficial to
reduction of
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 the harmful gas.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 run, it would possibly cause an unknown effect in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.
Submitted by dokmally2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure consistency in verb tenses to improve clarity and professionalism. For instance, in some areas, the present tense is inappropriately used instead of past or present continuous.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention specific insect types and known benefits or harms associated with their consumption.
coherence cohesion
Develop stronger links between the paragraphs for better coherence. Use cohesive devices to guide readers more effectively from one paragraph to another.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to both sides of the argument, discussing the benefits and drawbacks of consuming insects.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion frame your ideas well, providing a solid structure to your essay.
coherence cohesion
You present logical and structured arguments, indicating a thorough understanding of the topic.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: