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Writing Samples
Band 6

In the current era,the need for unpaid community services such as social charity,cleaning and maintaining neighbourhoods or supporting weak children has surged. In my opinion, it should be a mandatory part of the school program, extending the book knowledge.This essay explains the pointers as to why it should be a compulsory part of the program.

In today’s society, the need for unpaid
community
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 services
such
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 as participating in charitable
activities
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, maintaining
neighborhoods
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neighbourhoods
show examples
, or mentoring younger children has become increasingly important. I strongly agree that
such
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 initiatives should be a mandatory part of high school curricula as they
instill
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instil
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 essential values in
students
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 and contribute positively to both individuals and society as a whole.
To begin
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 with, involving
students
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 in unpaid
community
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service
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 cultivates important life skills that traditional academic subjects often overlook.
For example
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, volunteering to clean local parks or public areas can teach
students
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 teamwork, responsibility, and the value of maintaining a clean environment.
Such
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activities
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 go beyond theoretical knowledge and encourage practical problem-solving skills.
Additionally
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, engaging in charitable work helps
students
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 develop empathy and an understanding of societal challenges, fostering a sense of gratitude for their own privileges.
For instance
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, teaching underprivileged children could help high school
students
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 appreciate the value of education
while
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 contributing to social equity.
Moreover
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, making
community
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service
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 compulsory benefits society at large. Youth participation in
activities
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such
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 as assisting the elderly, organizing food drives, or teaching sports to younger children helps bridge gaps within communities and promotes a culture of kindness.
For example
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,
students
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 participating in weekly
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
show examples
 clean-up events not only reduce pollution but
also
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 inspire others to take responsibility for their surroundings. Over time, these small actions can lead to substantial improvements in local environments and societal attitudes. Critics may argue that imposing
community
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service
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 as a requirement could overwhelm
students
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 who are already burdened with academic responsibilities.
However
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, with proper planning, schools can integrate these programs in a way that complements academic schedules without creating excessive pressure. In fact,
such
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activities
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 often serve as a refreshing break from classroom routines, allowing
students
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 to apply their knowledge in real-world contexts and improve their mental well-being. In conclusion, incorporating unpaid
community
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service
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 into high school programs is an effective way to prepare
students
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 for life
while
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 fostering social responsibility. By participating in these
activities
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,
students
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 not only gain essential skills and values but
also
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 contribute to building stronger, more compassionate communities.
Therefore
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, I firmly believe that making
community
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service
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 mandatory in schools is a step in the right direction.

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Language Use
Ensure diverse vocabulary use to enhance the richness of expression.
Task Achievement
Consider adding counterarguments and addressing them briefly to show depth of analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure with a defined introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining coherence throughout.
Task Achievement
Specific examples are provided to illustrate points, such as cleaning local parks and mentoring children, which effectively support the main ideas.
Task Achievement
The introduction clearly outlines the position, and the conclusion effectively summarizes and reinforces the main argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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