You have received a job offer for an exciting, new position. Although you are expected to start on September 7th, you are only available to start a week later due to personal reasons. Write a letter to your new boss. In your letter: · Express your enthusiasm for the job offer · Explain the problem · Suggest what you can do Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Ms. Mcllwain,

#job #offer #position #september #week #boss #enthusiasm #addresses #ms #mcllwain

Dear Ms. McIllwain, I hope

this

message finds you well. I want to express my heartfelt gratitude for the job offer for the position at One Touch. I am truly excited about the opportunity to join your team and contribute to the important work that you do. It's a thrilling challenge that aligns perfectly with my career goals, and I am eager to get started.

However

, I need to discuss a slight issue regarding the start date.

Due to

personal commitments that require my attention, I am unable

to begin

on September 7th as planned. I would greatly appreciate it if I could start one week later, on September 14th. In the interim, I am more than willing to assist with any preliminary tasks remotely if that would be helpful. I am committed to ensuring a smooth transition and am looking forward to contributing to the team as soon as I can. Thank you for your understanding, and I look forward to your response. Warm regards, Trang Dao

Submitted by minhtrang.dao on Mon Nov 25 2024

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Logical Structure

To enhance the logical structure, consider explicitly stating the order in which you'll address each of your main points in the opening paragraph.

Single Idea per Paragraph

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a central idea to prevent any wandering off-topic.

Complete Response

The letter showcases eagerness about the position, which is crucial in demonstrating your motivation and interest.

Suitable Writing Tone

The tone is professional yet warm, making it suitable for communication with a new boss.

Greeting and Closing

The greeting and closing are appropriately formal and polite, setting a positive tone for the letter.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

168 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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