IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant workers in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant workers in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#workers #four #countries #people #information #features #comparisons
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The given table illustrates information about
number
Use synonyms
 of foreign
workers
Use synonyms
 working in 4 different countries in 2003 and 2006. The table contains 4 columns and one of them provides details on
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
workers
Use synonyms
 per 1000
people
Use synonyms
 in 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
number
Use synonyms
 of
non local
Add a hyphen
non-local
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
 has
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
 over
this
Linking Words
 period in all 4 countries. The United States has the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of migrant
workers
Use synonyms
 in 2003 and 2006 compared to other countries
while
Linking Words
 New Zealand has the lowest
number
Use synonyms
. In The United
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
State
Add a comma
State,
show examples
 577.000
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
temporary migrant
workers
Use synonyms
 got
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
 in 2003
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
and
show examples
this
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased to 678.000 in 2006
However
Linking Words
, with 2.3
Use synonyms
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 per 1000
workers
Use synonyms
 the United States has the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of migrant
workers
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
, New Zealand stand
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
first place followed by Australia in
secound
Correct your spelling
second
 place and the United Kingdom in third place. It is interesting that the total
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
migrated
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 New Zealand has just risen
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 20,000 in 3 years
people
Use synonyms
 but the total
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 per 1000
people
Use synonyms
 was the highest
number
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kk1994 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, workers, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 8 times.
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