IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, children under 16 years old are not allowed to leave school by law and get full-time work. Is this a good or bad thing? Discuss your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The compulsory
Correct article usage
Compulsory
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 is still under debate in many
countries
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, some laws have been adopted by different regions to avoid exploiting
children
Use synonyms
 as labourers
instead
Linking Words
 of studying at school, especially teenagers who are 16 or younger. The positive and negative aspects of
this
Linking Words
 matter will be discussed in the following essay. In the course of the modern era, all human beings are on the same page that primary
education
Use synonyms
 should be available as a civil right of humans. They
also
Linking Words
 believe that decent instruction must be free for all
children
Use synonyms
 around the world. Most people hold
this
Linking Words
 view that an array of strict rules should be adopted by governments to ensure
children
Use synonyms
 continue their studies including primary and high school until 16 years old (or until 18 in other
countries
Use synonyms
) child labour.
However
Linking Words
, the youth can attend a part-time job if they finish their compulsory
education
Use synonyms
, or study at the same time.
According to
Linking Words
 the result of expert research, most developed societies have lower rates of uneducated person in their
countries
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 rate as a measurement of sustainable development reflects a criterion of achievement. Seldom can the governments achieve their aims with a high rate of uneducated not only in the urban areas but
also
Linking Words
 in suburban areas. Many opine that if the stringent rules and regulations had been passed, developing
countries
Use synonyms
 would have succeeded in their goals. In conclusion, I strongly opine that offspring should be banned from leaving their classes to land a job even to afford the expenses of
education
Use synonyms
 services.
However
Linking Words
, it cannot be ignored that these expenses should be shouldered by the authorities.
this
Linking Words
 group of
children
Use synonyms
 can work as a volunteer and/or a part-time job with wages, which is in proportion to their tasks after
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
school.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Provide more examples or evidence to support points made.
task achievement
Ensure all sentences are grammatically correct and free of minor inaccuracies.
task achievement
The essay provides a well-rounded discussion on the topic, addressing both positive and negative aspects.
coherence cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant and specific examples supporting the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: