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Writing Samples
Band 6

An increasing number of larger shopping malls, areas and departmental stores are leading to the decline number of smaller corner shops. What are the advantages and disadvantages

A growing number of huge shopping malls, commercial areas, and large store
centers
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centres
show examples
 are contributing to the decline of smaller local shops.
This
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 essay will highlight both the advantages and disadvantages that result from
this
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 trend.
To begin
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 with the positives,
one
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 crucial advantage of the increasing number of shopping malls is their positive impact on national and local economies. These commercial establishments are subject to various taxes,
such
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 as building
tax
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, business
tax
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, and sales
tax
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, which help boost government revenue.
Furthermore
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, the presence of large shopping
centers
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centres
show examples
 provides a high level of convenience for consumers. With everything available in a single location, shoppers can save both time and energy.
For example
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, individuals can buy groceries, electronics, and clothing in
one
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 visit without the need to travel to different stores.
However
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, despite these benefits, there are
also
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 notable drawbacks.
One
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 major issue is the environmental impact. The concentration of large numbers of people in
one
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 place can lead to noise pollution, traffic congestion, and increased waste production.
Additionally
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, the rise of shopping malls often threatens the survival of small, local businesses. These smaller shops usually lack the resources and capital to compete with large commercial chains.
Consequently
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, many are forced to close
due to
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 declining monthly revenue and customer loss, leading to a negative impact on local employment and community character. In conclusion,
while
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 large shopping
centers
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centres
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 offer several benefits
such
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 as improved convenience and increased
tax
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 revenue, they
also
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 bring significant disadvantages, including environmental concerns and the decline of local businesses. It is
therefore
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 essential to find a balance between supporting economic development and protecting small enterprises.

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task achievement
Try to add more specific examples or data to strengthen your points about the advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting sentences. This will help improve the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is important for a well-structured response.
task achievement
You have accurately identified both advantages and disadvantages, showing good understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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