IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries good school and medical facilities are available in city only. Some people think that teachers and good hospital, education should be provided in rural areas for few years. While some people think that every person is free to do work according to their choice. Discuss your ideas and opinion. Discuss both the sides.

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NOWADAYS, BETTER EDUCATION AND HEALTHCARE
SYSTEM
Fix the agreement mistake
SYSTEMS
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 ARE ACCESSIBLE ONLY IN
CITIES
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. SOME
PEOPLE
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 CLAIM THAT NOT ONLY
CITIES
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 BUT
ALSO
Linking Words
 RURAL
AREAS
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 SHOULD HAVE ACCESS TO SCHOOLS AND MEDICAL SYSTEM,
WHILE
Linking Words
 OTHERS SAY THAT IT DEPENDS ON
INDIVIDUAL'S
Correct article usage
THE INDIVIDUAL'S
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 CHOICE ,AS THEY ARE INDEPENDENT.
THIS
Linking Words
 ESSAY WILL DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS IN SUPPORT OF FORMER. ON THE ONE HAND,
PEOPLE
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 THINK THAT THEY HAVE
CHOICE
Correct article usage
A CHOICE
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INDEPENDENCE
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OF INDEPENDENCE
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, WHEREVER THEY CAN WORK, APART FROM THAT
PEOPLE
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'S
CHOICE
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CHOICES
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RELIED
Wrong verb form
RELY
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 ON THEIR LIFE CONDITIONS
,
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apply
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 AND SKILLS. PERSONAL FREEDOM CAN
LED
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LEAD
BE LED
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 TO THE SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENTS AND CAREER PROSPECTS, WORKING IN AN ENVIRONMENT WHERE
INDIVIUDALS
Correct your spelling
INDIVIDUALS
FEELING
Wrong verb form
FEEL
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 HAPPY
IT
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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CAN BE RESULTED IN THE EFFECTIVE OUTCOMES.
FOR INSTANCE
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, AFTER GRADUATING
UNIVERSITY
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FROM UNIVERSITY
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 DOCTORS ARE GIVEN CHANCES TO SELECT WHERE THEY WORK, EITHER IN
CITIES
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 OR RURAL
AREAS
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, EVEN
THOUGH
Correct word choice
apply
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OVERSEAS.
ON THE OTHER HAND
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,
WHICH
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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I SIDE WITH THOSE WHO STRONGLY CLAIM THAT RURAL
AREAS
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 HAVE TO ACCESS HIGH-QUALITY EDUCATION AND MEDICAL
SERVICES
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. ENFORCING MANDATORY
SERVICES
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 WOULD PREVENT
MIGRATION
Correct article usage
THE MIGRATION
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 OF
PEOPLE
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 IN RURAL
AREAS
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,
AS WELL AS
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 URBANIZATION. WHAT I MEAN BY THAT,
IN
Add a missing verb
IS IN
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 ORDER TO
GETTING
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GET
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 BETTER EDUCATION STUDENTS MOVE FROM THEIR
HOMETOWN
Fix the agreement mistake
HOMETOWNS
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 TO
CITIES
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IT
Correct pronoun usage
WHICH
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RESULTED
Wrong verb form
RESULTS
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 IN DENSELY-POPULATED CITY LIFE AND FEELING HOMESICKNESS.
ADDITIONALLY
Linking Words
, MOVING FROM
CITIES
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 TO RURAL LIFE IS THE WAY
FOR GETTING
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TO GET
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 AWAY FROM
HUSTLE
Correct article usage
THE HUSTLE
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 AND BUSTLE OF
CITIES
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,
ALSO
Linking Words
 SOME
PEOPLE
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 MIGHT BE UNAWARE OF
LIFESTYLE
Correct article usage
THE LIFESTYLE
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 OF RURAL
AREAS
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, BY
THIS
Linking Words
 WAY THEY CAN BROADEN
HORIZONS
Correct pronoun usage
THEIR HORIZONS
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 AND
GETTING
Wrong verb form
GET
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BETTER
Correct article usage
A BETTER
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 LIFESTYLE. MANDATORY
SERVICES
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 CAN LED TO GROWTH IN THE NUMBER OF EDUCATED
PEOPLE
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 AND PROFESSIONALS.
TO CONCLUDE
Linking Words
, BOTH SIDES MIGHT BE RIGHT TO
CERTAIN
Correct article usage
A CERTAIN
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 DEGREE,
HOWEVER
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
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I BELIEVE THAT MANDATORY
SERVICES
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 IN RURAL
AREAS
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 CAN
BE CONTRIBUTED
Wrong verb form
CONTRIBUTE
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SIGNIFICANT
Change preposition
TO SIGNIFICANT
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 DEVELOPMENTS.

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coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical structure by creating a clearer and more logically organized response. Make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next with appropriate transitions.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points, which can enhance both clarity and support for your arguments. It aids in making your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all main points are sufficiently supported and developed. This will improve the clarity and impact of your essay.
task achievement
Good attempt at discussing both perspectives, which shows a balanced approach and understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument effectively and provides closure to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • governmental funding
  • concentration of resources
  • specialists
  • inequality gap
  • sustainable development
  • urban migration
  • overpopulation
  • mandatory service
  • societal development
  • quality of life
  • demotivation
  • dissatisfaction
  • flexibility
  • autonomy
  • career placements
  • innovation
  • excellence
  • drain of skilled professionals
  • incentives
  • balanced approach
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