Write about the following topic: In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#topic #countries #people #enrol #university #situation

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It is not

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apply

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common agreement anymore whether having

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university degree is fundamental or not to achieve a good job. Nowadays, multiple young people

are preferring

Wrong verb form

prefer

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to be trained at work rather than enrolling in an academic course.

This

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essay is going to debate both the positive and negative sides of work-based training. The main advantage of on-the-job training is a shorter invested time when compared to a tertiary education course.

This

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can be explained by a much more focused approach in the former type of education, avoiding subjects that are not very practical or that are related to research.

For instance

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, if someone decides to work as an electrician,

this

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individual might not need to spend time learning about non-electric related

technique

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techniques

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as an engineer would.

As a result

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, the person could be working and financially

independant

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independent

a lot quicker than

who

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those who

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chooses

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choose

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an academic path. On the other side, avoiding college

also

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has its drawbacks. The major negative is that not having a university degree may offer you a more limited range of job opportunities in the future.

This

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is the consequence of both less varied knowledge and the fact that multiple employers still require

this

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quality when hiring new employees.

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other words, without academic

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qualifications

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qualification

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qualification,

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the person might have

less

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fewer

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job options and, sometimes, might even be limited to a certain company.

To conclude

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, even though work-based training can be a shortcut to a work position, it might result in bigger

challanges

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challenges

in the future for the employee. In my view, it is worth spending a longer time in education in order to achieve an academic degree and ensure a more guaranteed future.

Submitted by lurh on Mon Nov 25 2024

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task achievement

Consider expanding ideas with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen arguments.

task achievement

Ensure consistency in the depth of analysis across different points to maintain balance.

coherence cohesion

Improve the transitions between points or paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay.

coherence cohesion

You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.

task achievement

Good focus on the pros and cons of work-based training, directly addressing the essay prompt.

coherence cohesion

Ideas are organized in a logical sequence, moving from advantages to disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

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