Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
There have been contentious debates over whether schools happen to possess a competitive atmosphere. Some people believe that the competitive environment has detrimental consequences for
children
, whilst other people argue that competitiveness motivates children
to work harder and overcome difficulties in order to achieve something. Despite the differing views, I am inclined to believe that competitiveness are
beneficial for Change the verb form
is
children
since it make
the most of them, by using their knowledge and abilities Change the verb form
makes
while
pursuing a target. Moreover
, plenty of abilities and emotions are developed throughout childhood, thus
, the more they are pressed, the more resilient and hard working
they will become.
Correct your spelling
hardworking
In
the one hand, Change preposition
On
children
must not compare themselves from
one another. Competition makes the worst Change preposition
to
from
people, Change preposition
for
specially
Replace the word
especially
children
, who are not able to distinguish good actions from bad ones. Even though,
the benefits of Remove the comma
apply
this
practice are outstanding, unless its management is performed correctly, the outcome can be turned out into a dreadful scenario, where children
can make
the necessary actions so that they achieve their target, fostering several sins, Correct your spelling
take
such
as griddiness
, cruelty or barbarity, to name a few.
Correct your spelling
giddiness
grittiness
greediness
On the other hand
, by teaching children
to survive in a competitive enviroment
, Correct your spelling
environment
team working
, communication, determination or critical thinking can be assessed. Competition does not mean rivalry. Verb problem
teamwork
Furthermore
, it can easen
task Correct your spelling
ease
achivement
and provide Correct your spelling
achievement
children
a
wider view of how life will be in the following years.
Following all the points mentioned above, it is important to note that competitiveness does not lead to rivalry or harsh relations among Add the preposition
with a
children
. In contrast
, it can be used to create a healthier environment to broaden their knowledge and abilities. Therefore
, it is important to raise the future generations within this
competitive atmosphere in order to make them more prepare
for the upcoming challenges they are bound to solve Change the form of the verb
prepared
on
the foreseeable future.Change preposition
in
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relevant specific examples
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supported main points
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introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion and opinion.
complete response
You've addressed both sides of the argument, giving a balanced view which is crucial for a well-rounded task response.
logical structure
The essay's logical structure allows for easy comprehension of your thoughts and arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.