IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The illustrations show how chocolate is produced. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#illustrations #show #chocolate #information #features #comparisons
The diagram illustrates the stages of chocolate production.
Overall
, the process consists of 10 main stages,
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 from the growing cacao trees to the receiving liquid chocolate.
It is clear that
 some operations require to be done in open-air areas,
while
 the remaining ones are taking place in a factory. Focusing first on the preparation of raw material, it starts from the growing of cacao trees in South America, Africa, and Indonesia. After that, ripe red pods are harvested and white cocoa
beans
 are obtained from them for following fermentation processes. The fermented
beans
 should,
then
, be dried out in the sun and packed into large sacks. After loading it onto a lorry or a train, the raw material is transported to the factory. As for the rest of the operations, in the factory
beans
 are roasted and crushed, removing their shells. Afterwards, the inner parts of the
beans
 are placed under a press, and the end product, which is liquid chocolate, is produced.
Submitted by halynasmyk953 on

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Task Achievement
You have done a great job in summarizing the main stages of chocolate production. To improve further, ensure that any comparison or highlight differences among the stages are clearly stated if relevant.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the structure of your essay is clear and logical, consider adding a concluding sentence summarizing the entire process for a stronger finish.
Coherence and Cohesion
The description of the process is ordered logically and is easy to follow.
Task Achievement
The essay covers all the main stages of chocolate production comprehensively and accurately.
Task Achievement
Use of appropriate vocabulary related to the production process is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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