Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries, but others think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all information can be seen on TV and the Internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion

It is
moot
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a moot
the moot
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issue whether people should go to other countries to get to know more about the country, which
also
helps them to broaden the horizons of their own knowledge, or not.
Former
Correct article usage
The former
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viewpoint finds favour with me,
however
, both perspectives will be hashed out in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, it is crucial to visit the country
for learning
Change preposition
to learn
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about their culture and traditions. By seeing things it is much more enjoyable and easier to understand,
for example
, to get a taste of mango,it should be eaten.
Moreover
, when people visit another country they are allowed to embrace an opportunity
of participating
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to participate
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in different kinds of activities
like
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apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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person can
go
Wrong verb form
going
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to religious places and
can perform
Wrong verb form
performing
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rituals.
Opposite
Correct article usage
The Opposite
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opines the view that there
is
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are
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dozens of books
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
available to read about foreign countries, and lots of videos and pictures can be helpful for the learners.
Apart from
this
, travelling
also
increases pollution because most of the visits are made by
airplanes
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aeroplanes
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, which
produces
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produce
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obnoxious gases in the environment. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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although
today we have everything in our hands through technology
but
Correct word choice
apply
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physical involvement is much better for learning.
To conclude
, it is abundantly clear from the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
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information that distance learning is possible thanks to development in the technology sector, still the knowledge
get
Verb problem
gained
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from personal experiences has more weight.
Submitted by manpreet481950 on

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Grammar and language use
Ensure better grammatical control and clarity in sentence structures. Be mindful of subject-verb agreements and word choices to make your ideas clearer.
Use of examples
Provide more specific examples or personal anecdotes that can illustrate your arguments more vividly and make them more relatable.
Argument development
Develop ideas more thoroughly, especially when presenting the opposing viewpoint. This will help in achieving a balanced discussion.
Introduction
The introduction succinctly presents both perspectives, showing a clear understanding of the topic.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed, reinforcing your opinion.
Task response
The essay addresses both views and provides a personal opinion, aligning well with the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersive
  • interactions
  • virtual means
  • cultural nuances
  • language acquisition
  • problem-solving
  • adaptability
  • sustainability
  • virtual tours
  • documentaries
  • sophisticated
  • realistic representations
  • comprehensive understanding
  • financial status
  • carbon footprint
  • digital resources
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