some people regard video games as useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

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In
this
Linking Words
technological era, myriad
people
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deem that if
video
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games
Use synonyms
are played by the
people
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
it
succour
Correct subject-verb agreement
succours
show examples
them education knowledge
while
Linking Words
others believe that it hurts the
people
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. I believe playing
video
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games
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in tremendous amounts has more pros. I will elaborate on my notion in forthcoming paragraphs. By installing distinct
game
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applications humans get positive outcomes.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if the
video
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game
Use synonyms
is related to mathematical numbers,
then
Linking Words
it enhances the calculation power of the student and
people
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such
Linking Words
as
games
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like puzzles and sudoku.
Secondly
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,
game
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trains
people
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to think logically as well about the plan of their life.
On the other hand
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, it has more drawbacks by spending too much time on the computer screen. It not only changes the posture of the person but
also
Linking Words
causes a detrimental effect on personal health by sitting in one position for a prolonged period.
As a result
Linking Words
, players might have less physical fitness if children avoid playing outdoor activities. An outstanding example is that most
people
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suffer from obesity and other diseases like diabetes, heart problems and stress.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it declines their social interaction skill which may cause disadvantages in future, if they want to start a business.
In addition
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,
student
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a student
the student
show examples
might get distracted from their primary goal if they are attracted by the
video
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game
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.
For instance
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, educator play
games
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instead
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of doing their homework which turns out an unsatisfactory result
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
their academic year. In recapitulation, In my opinion, it causes
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
perilous problem because it might put their future and their health in the problem by playing a
video
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game
Use synonyms
constantly.
Submitted by milonishekhaliya on

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Introduction Clarity
Introduce your main ideas more clearly in the introduction to guide the reader through your argument.
Linking Words
Use more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.
Specific Examples
Try to avoid generalizations and provide more specific examples to support your points.
Conciseness
Be cautious with the overuse of filler phrases that don't add value to your argument.
Task Relevance
Keep your focus on directly answering the question. Ensure each paragraph serves to support your overall stance on the issue.
Thesis Statement
You have a clear thesis statement that sets the direction for your essay.
Paragraph Organization
Your paragraphs are well-organized, each focusing on a single main idea.
Argument Development
You attempt to cover both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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