The graph below shows the average monthly salary and the prices of black and white and colour TV in Japanese yen from 1953 to 1973. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

#salary #prices #colour #tv #japanese #yen #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The line graph illustrates the average wage per month and the cost of black white, and colour

Use synonyms

in Japan between 1953 and 1973.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is evident that the monthly salary experienced a significant increase, though the prices of the black&white and coloured

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saw a modest decline. Looking in more detail,

Japanese

Correct article usage

the Japanese

show examples

gained around 30

yen

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in 1953, which was one-third of the cost of black-white

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Furthermore

Linking Words

, the monthly income rose to about 40

yen

Use synonyms

in 1958,

whereas

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

stat for uncoloured

Use synonyms

observed a gradual decline of 80

yen

Use synonyms

. In 1958, the sales of colored TVs began at 180

yen

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

, the wage increased to roughly 60

yen

Use synonyms

which was the almost same as the price of the black and white

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in 1963.

However

Linking Words

, the cost of the price decreased by 110

yen

Use synonyms

. Regarding the remaining periods, the wage per month continued

gradually

Fix the infinitive

to gradually

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

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increase by 1968 when the price of the coloured

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declined, approximately equal to the monthly salary.

In addition

Linking Words

, the value of the black

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experienced a slight decline of 35

yen

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by the end of the period. By 1973, the salary grew gradually to 180

yen

Use synonyms

although

Linking Words

colour

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sold for about 90

yen

Use synonyms

Submitted by ilkin.abdullaev04 on Tue Nov 26 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tv, yen with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 3 times.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

204 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

average monthly salary
price
black and white TV
colour TV
Japanese yen
technological changes
financial investment
advancements in technology
production efficiency
higher price point
novelty
advanced technology
post-war economic boom
industrial growth
consumer-friendly market
electronics sector
affordable
financial accessibility

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