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Band 6.5

The chart below shows the aid from six developed countries to developing countries from 2008 -2010.

The chart below shows the aid from six developed countries to developing countries from 2008 -2010.
#aid #six #countries
The bar chart provides data about the number of
aid
 received from developed
countries
 from developing
countries
 over the period
3
Change preposition
of 3
show examples
years
 from 2008 and 2010. Units are measured in billions.
Overall
,
it is clear that
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 in 2010 demonstrated the highest amount of
aid
 than other
countries
,
on the
contrary
Add the comma(s)
contrary,
show examples
 Sweden showed the lowest participation among all. Interestingly,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other
countries
 in the chart illustrated some fluctuations
thoughout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the
years
. Looking at the
detail
Fix the agreement mistake
details
show examples
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the initial country in 2010 stood at just over 20 ,
also
 in 2008 and 2009 trends
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 20 and 25
billion
 dollars respectively. In 2010 , Germany
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 15
billion
 before slightly
decreased
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 14
billion
 in the UK. So remaining
years
 2008 and 2009
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
10 -15
billion
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
show examples
assistance
Change preposition
in assistance
show examples
 respectively in Germany.
In addition
,
UK's
Correct article usage
the UK's
show examples
 figure owned just over 10
dollar
Change to a plural noun
dollars
show examples
. Coming to the three almost
same level
Add a hyphen
same-level
show examples
countries
,
Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
show examples
, Japan and Sweden. In
Change the article
the
show examples
first country in the year 2010 figures
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 approximately 10
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
show examples
 before rapidly
declined
Wrong verb form
declining
show examples
 to nearly 9 in
Correct article usage
the Netherland
show examples
Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
show examples
. 2008 in Japan showed the highest
trends
Fix the agreement mistake
trend
show examples
 of
aid
 12
billion
dollar
Change to a plural noun
dollars
show examples
 and 2009 was under 2
billion
.
In addition
, in
Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
show examples
 both
years
 2008 and 2009
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
7 and 9
billion
aid
Change preposition
in aid
show examples
 respectively.
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 final country
named
Verb problem
apply
show examples
Sweden in all 3
years
 demonstrated
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 reduction of
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
nearly
Change preposition
by nearly
show examples
 9
billion
dollar
Change to a plural noun
dollars
show examples
.
Submitted by Writing9 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words aid, countries, years, billion, dollar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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