IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More people decided to have children at a later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Compared to the past more and more
people
Use synonyms
 tend to have
children
Use synonyms
 at a later
age
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
, it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 some drawbacks benefits exceed them.
Firstly
Linking Words
, having
children
Use synonyms
 requires special attention which means individuals should
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of time with their
children
Use synonyms
. Parents should consider
good
Correct article usage
the good
show examples
 upbringing of their
children
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.
This
Linking Words
 leads
that
Change preposition
to
show examples
 young
people
Use synonyms
might
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
want
Wrong verb form
wanting
show examples
 to have a
child
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 at a young
age
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. It is obvious from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media that we can see thousands of
people
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 talking
how
Change preposition
about how
show examples
 hard to have a
child
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 at an early
age
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
 status of young families
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not allow them to have
children
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. They need to pay taxes and expenditures of daily life which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would be higher if they had a
child
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, every one in three families in my country
suffer
Change the verb form
suffers
show examples
 from high taxes and school expenditures.
Hence
Linking Words
, they decide to have
children
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 at a later
age
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 when they are going to have good savings.
Thirdly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 at a young
age
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 want to spend their spare time with their peers or
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 fun by themselves. Being with
Use synonyms
child
Add an article
a child
show examples
 means that they need someone to take care of their
children
Use synonyms
. An increase
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 hiring
babysitter
Fix the agreement mistake
babysitters
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young families might be
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 excellent example of
this
Linking Words
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, having babies at a later
age
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 should be hard to
intreact
Correct your spelling
interact
 with them. Having
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 huge generation difference between their
children
Use synonyms
 may make the
communucation
Correct your spelling
communication
 difficult.
For instance
Linking Words
,
adolecents
Correct your spelling
adolescents
 who go to the
psychologists
Fix the agreement mistake
psychologist
show examples
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
reveal that they have some issues
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 contact with their parents because of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 different
mindset
Fix the agreement mistake
mindsets
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when
people
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are getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 older they
are getting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
patience which makes raising
children
Use synonyms
process
Verb problem
apply
show examples
harder.
Children
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 of elderly
people
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 generally
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
deficieny
Correct your spelling
deficiency
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 patients and they
felt
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
 love less than compared to others. In conclusion, having a
child
Use synonyms
 at an older
age
Use synonyms
 has increased compared to the past. Despite the disadvantages,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 exceed
.
Correct article usage
the.
show examples

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay clearly addresses both parts of the task: explaining why people are having children later and discussing the advantages vs disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Organize your paragraphs clearly so each one focuses on a single main idea. Use linking words to smoothly guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
Avoid generalizations and support your points with more specific examples where possible. For instance, elaborate on the social media example.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a framework for your discussion.
task achievement
Your writing includes relevant examples related to social status and social media influences.
task achievement
You successfully discuss several reasons why people may choose to have children later in life, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
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