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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?

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Athletes
Use synonyms
 need to be powerful and energetic in the competition, so they must do exercises to enhance their stamina and strength, but some of them often choose an alternative way to gain it,
such
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 as using performance-enhancing drugs.
this
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 essay will explore the consequences of doping for
athletes
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 and suggest measures to address
this
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 growing problem. Consuming additives can cause an addiction
to
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in
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athletes
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,
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as
Correct word choice
and as
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 a
consequence
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consequence,
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 they might want to use it every day. Because of
this
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 dependency, they will feel they can not compete without using it. In the long run, it can cause severe side effects to
health
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, especially to the liver, since it makes the liver work harder to filter the toxins. The effect might not be felt soon, but after a few years, their
health
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 will deteriorate.
Additionally
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,
such
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 drugs have psychological effects,
such
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 as increased anxiety, aggression, or depression
as a result
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 of drug abuse. The government must take a serious way to handle
this
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 issue,
firstly
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 by making stricter rules or protocols in competition by providing
health
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 checks beforehand, and
also
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 a long-term ban or even permanent ban for
athletes
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 who consume steroids.
Moreover
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, they can do some preventative steps,
such
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 as giving an educational campaign to the
athletes
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 so that they know the consequences of using it. In conclusion, the use of stamina enhancers can create an addiction and pose
health
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 and mental risks for
athletes
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, so the government must implement tighter rules and do some preventive steps like giving educational programmes to the
athletes
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.

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Enhance Examples
Include more specific examples or data to substantiate points about health risks and preventive measures.
Improve Transitions
Ensure a clear and logical transition between paragraphs to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
Strong Introduction & Conclusion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the main issues and summarizing the solutions effectively.
Complete Task Response
The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the consequences of doping and suggesting measures to combat the issue.
Good Logical Flow
Logical flow within paragraphs is generally well-maintained, with a good balance between causes and solutions.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs)
  • Doping
  • Anabolic steroids
  • Health ramifications
  • Stigmatization
  • Disqualification
  • Anti-doping agencies
  • Therapeutic Use Exemptions (TUEs)
  • Integrity of sports
  • Biological passport
  • In-competition testing
  • Out-of-competition testing
  • Whistleblower
  • Ban substances
  • Suspension
  • World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA)
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