The graph below shows the average monthly salary and the prices of black and white and colour TV in Japanese yen from 1953 to 1973. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below shows the average monthly salary and the prices of black and white and colour TV in Japanese yen from 1953 to 1973. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The graph below shows the average monthly salary and the prices of black and white and colour TV in Japanese yen from 1953 to 1973. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given line graph demonstrates the fluctuations in
monthly
Add an article
a monthly
the monthly

The noun phrase monthly average salary seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
average salary of individuals in Japan and the prices of black and white television between 1953 to 1973 .
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, A significant increase in
monthly
Add an article
the monthly

The noun phrase monthly salary seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
salary of
Japenese
Correct your spelling
Japanese

The word Japenese doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
people is noticed .
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,as the monthly income has increased throughout the years ,the prices of both varieties of
TV
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have

It seems that the verb has does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
reduced . In Japan ,A significant decline is visible in the amount of coloured and black and white television . In 1953 ,the price for black and white
TV
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

was 100 and for coloured
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

tv
Correct your spelling
TV

The word tv doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
it was 180
.both
Correct your spelling
Both

If you don’t want .both to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

trends showed a decline in
there
Replace the word
their

The word there may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

show examples
prices and reduced to 60 and 110 respectively .From 1963- 1973 ,the price for coloured
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

tv
Correct your spelling
TV

The word tv doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
remained almost stagnant between 110 and 90 but the cost for black and white
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Tv
Correct your spelling
TV

The word Tv doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
continued to decrease until 1968 and
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

remained almost the same for
next
Correct article usage
the next

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
7 years . In 1953 ,
monthly
Correct article usage
the monthly

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
salary of Japanese people was 25 and it started to increase and reached
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
60 in 1963 . A substantial rise is seen in the income from 1963 to 1973 . In the year
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
1973,People in Japan
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were

It seems that the verb was does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
earning 180 in a month ,which
is
Wrong verb form
was

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb is. Consider changing it.

show examples
the highest of all time .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly salary
  • price
  • black and white TV
  • colour TV
  • Japanese yen
  • technological changes
  • financial investment
  • advancements in technology
  • production efficiency
  • higher price point
  • novelty
  • advanced technology
  • post-war economic boom
  • industrial growth
  • consumer-friendly market
  • electronics sector
  • affordable
  • financial accessibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: