IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The internet and technology, like mobile phones and laptops, are connecting us to each other every hour of the day via networking sites and applications. Do you think it’s an advantage or disadvantage?

#internet #technology #phones #laptops #hour #sites #applications #it’s #advantage
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There is no denying the fact that
technology
 like mobile phones and laptops are connecting us to each other every day.
While
 it is commonly held belief that some people think that
this
 is a
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 thing.
While
 others disagree and think it may lead to adverse ramifications.
This
 essay will analyse
this
topicfrom
Correct your spelling
topic from
 both points of view and express my
opnion
Correct your spelling
opinion
. First of all , connecting with our
freinds
Correct your spelling
friends
 and
famley
Correct your spelling
family
 is a good thing .
In other words
 , The internet and
technology
 enable us to stay connected with friends, family, and colleagues irrespective of geographical distances.
In addition
 ,
The internet
Correct your spelling
the Internet
show examples
 facilitates e-commerce, remote work, and freelance opportunities, allowing people to work from anywhere.
For example
, my father
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 to work in the US
while
 me and my brother study in
saudi
Change the capitalization
Saudi
show examples
 so we
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 to call him anytime.
On the other hand
.
lthough
Correct your spelling
although
though
 we may be more connected online, excessive
use
 of
technology
 can lead to a decrease in face-to-face interactions and a sense of loneliness. it is
also
 possible to say that.Over-reliance on
technology
 can result in addiction, impacting mental health and reducing productivity.
however
, in an online class a teacher would be able to solve all queries at once
as well as
, computers and machines are expensive to maintain and unreliable sources. In conclusion, there are a few demerits of networking which do cost not so levy
whereas
,
whereas
 the advantages are quite feasible that
technology
 is a vital part of everybody's life. In , the future it might replace the traditional methods of learning with computers and tablets. institutions should supplement traditional learning by teachers with the
use
 of
technology
.
Submitted by waleedal3ayed on

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general
Make sure to proofread your work for spelling and grammatical errors before submission. Correcting these can greatly enhance clarity and readability.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your main points. This will make your argument more compelling and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas within the same paragraph and between paragraphs. Use linking words to show contrast and comparison and to balance your argument.
introduction
Your introduction gives a clear overview of the discussion, setting up both sides of the argument nicely.
conclusion
The conclusion is well-rounded, summarizing the key points effectively and providing a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Connectivity
  • Networking sites
  • Applications
  • Geographical distances
  • Access to information
  • Educational resources
  • E-commerce
  • Remote work
  • Freelance opportunities
  • Privacy breaches
  • Social isolation
  • Face-to-face interactions
  • Over-reliance
  • Addiction
  • Mental health
  • Productivity
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