In recent years sports stars have become increasingly famous and wealthy. For some this is a benefit, raising the profile of sports, but for others, it is a negative influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sport
is the main part of our life and nobody can argue Use synonyms
this
statement. Lots of Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
are dreaming
about Wrong verb form
dream
sporting
Correct article usage
a sporting
career
, Use synonyms
in
spite of discipline only Correct word choice
but in
few
Change the article
a few
people
achieve Use synonyms
succes
. Correct your spelling
success
Although
existing cases when Linking Words
people
must stop their Use synonyms
career
because of issues Use synonyms
happened
with their physical or psychological statements.
Correct pronoun usage
that happened
To begin
with Linking Words
positives
, all successful Correct article usage
the positives
Use synonyms
sportsmen’s
are earning lots of money, showing Change noun form
sportsmen
people
their lifestyle. Use synonyms
This
includesLinking Words
:
mansions, cars, watches, clothes, expensive art and restaurants and Remove the comma
apply
more
other aspects. Correct quantifier usage
apply
Linking Words
Furthermore
all Add a comma
Furthermore,
best
Correct article usage
the best
Use synonyms
sportsmen’s
can take a membership in private clubs where are discussing events which Change noun form
sportsmen
simple
person mustn’t knowCorrect article usage
a simple
.
Their success depends Change preposition
about.
from
their daily routine and games which are won.
Change preposition
on
Linking Words
Nevertheless
all attractive things have their dark side. Add a comma
Nevertheless,
People
don’t think about lack of sleep, lots of traumas, hard Use synonyms
trainings
and Change the wording
training
pieces of training
severity
of personal Correct article usage
the severity
coach
. Replace the word
coaching
The
are Correct your spelling
They
group
of Add an article
a group
Use synonyms
sportsmen’s
that finished their Change noun form
sportsmen
Use synonyms
career
because of untreatable trauma or passing Fix the agreement mistake
careers
age
of 35.
Correct article usage
the age
Anyway
Add the punctuation
Anyway,
people
must not consider that Use synonyms
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
is
something dangerous for reason that exists athletes with unfortunate Unnecessary verb
apply
Use synonyms
career
. Despite all failures in professional Fix the agreement mistake
careers
Use synonyms
sport
, it is Fix the agreement mistake
sports
necessarily
to do even small and short physical Change the word
necessary
activity
3 times a week
I believe Fix the agreement mistake
activities
young
generation will find for themselves Correct article usage
the young
favourite
Correct pronoun usage
their favourite
Use synonyms
sportsmen’s
, train every single day and in the future to meet him or her. Change noun form
sportsmen
Linking Words
Moreover
all ex-professionals are going in coaches or arbiters and they are influencing Add a comma
Moreover,
on
games, performers and even rules. But in Change preposition
apply
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
Use synonyms
sport
stars haveChange the noun form
sports
a
big impact Add a missing verb
had a
in
our history, improving their Change preposition
on
sport
, Use synonyms
make
Wrong verb form
making
young
generation follow Correct article usage
the young
to
them and simply making our days more interesting and happy.Change preposition
apply
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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your ideas more logically. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next to improve coherence.
task achievement
Work on supporting your main points with more specific and relevant examples. This helps to demonstrate your understanding and supports your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
Consider revising some of your grammatical and lexical choices to enhance your clarity and preciseness in conveying your message.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding the author's overall view on the topic.
task achievement
The essay discusses both views on the topic, providing a balanced approach to the argument.
task achievement
There is a good attempt to address the task by mentioning both positive and negative aspects of sports stars being famous and wealthy.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.