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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electric appliances and amount of time spend doing housework in household in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electric appliances and amount of time spend doing housework in household in one country between 1920 and 2019.
The line graphs provide information about the percentage of possession of electronic gadgets and the count of
hours
Use synonyms
 devoted
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 doing household chores from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the proportion of
ownership
Use synonyms
 of refrigerators and vacuum cleaners experienced a significant increase,
whereas
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 figure for the washing machine observed a gradual growth.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 of housework saw a modest decline throughout the period given. Looking in more detail, the refrigerator
ownership
Use synonyms
 rate commenced at around 0%,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 stat for washing machines and vacuum cleaners comprised 30% and 40% in 1920, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, the proportion of refrigerator
ownership
Use synonyms
 jumped to 90% in 1960, other rate rose to around 70%. In 2019, almost every house had a refrigerator and a vacuum cleaner, though
this
Linking Words
 pattern for washing machines accounted for about 75%. Regarding the number of
hours
Use synonyms
, as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electric appliance
ownership
Use synonyms
 increased, the amount of time
spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
 to doing decreased.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the total count of
hours
Use synonyms
 was roughly 50 per week in 1920, followed by a considerable drop of 20% by 1960.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these static experienced a downward trend by the end of the period, falling
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 10
hours
Use synonyms
 per week.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, ownership with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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