N All over the world societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem effects both children and adults. What are the reason for this rise in obesity. How could it be tackled?
In
these
essay will Correct determiner usage
this
be
discuss Unnecessary verb
apply
about
the Remove the preposition
apply
over world
societies are facing a growing problem with obesity, in our experience knowledge of different trends will Correct your spelling
overworld
be know
the reasons and results.
Change the verb form
know
Overall
, there are many reasons that affect Linking Words
humens
Correct your spelling
humans
due to
obesity Linking Words
such
as bad routine or even fast food that huge reason can be a problem in their body, Linking Words
Linking Words
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
some times
children Correct your spelling
sometimes
born
fat Add a missing verb
are born
due to
illness from mother in hormones. Throughout we can solve all these problems, but how?
Actually we can advise them in Linking Words
certain
way Change the article
a certain
for example
eat healthy food even if they love Linking Words
pizze
, Correct your spelling
pizza
moreover
they can eat once Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
the
week pizza but they should make it Correct article usage
a
in
healthy by Change preposition
apply
reduse
sugar. Correct your spelling
reducing
However
Linking Words
who
suffer Correct pronoun usage
those who
with
Change preposition
from
obisty
they can do sport or even just walk Correct your spelling
obesity
30
Change preposition
for 30
minut
every day Correct your spelling
minute
minutes
thats
help the body to decrease Correct your spelling
that
wight
, Correct your spelling
weight
furthermore
in Linking Words
morning
they must Add an article
the morning
to
eat a perfect breakfast because all day will have power, Change the verb form
apply
also
they can take Linking Words
snak
Correct your spelling
snack
while
they working like banana, through children after 1 year, they Linking Words
most
feed them in Correct your spelling
must
good
way to Change the article
a good
pervent
Correct your spelling
prevent
obisety
Correct your spelling
obesity
such
as eat egg in Linking Words
morning
that give them vitamins and energy. After that Add an article
the morning
also
some children about 5-8 years Linking Words
Correct word choice
old thier
thier
families they don't care about them we should Correct your spelling
their
learn
them how Verb problem
teach
mush
is difficult will be in future, Correct your spelling
much
Linking Words
However
they must sleep earlier because at night they will feel hungry and go to eat that's Add the comma(s)
However,
due to
Linking Words
obisety
.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
obesity
the
doctors should Correct article usage
apply
advice
Replace the word
advise
the
people to do sport every day and Correct article usage
apply
make
Correct your spelling
take
test
to take careFix the agreement mistake
tests
Submitted by rihas89s on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
logical structure
Make sure ideas are logically organized from one paragraph to the next.
logical structure
Improve the consistency of your information and arguments between paragraphs.
logical structure
Be more explicit during transitions between ideas. Use linking words or phrases.
introduction conclusion
Summarize your main points more clearly in the conclusion.
supported main points
Present main points supported by more details or examples.
relevant specific examples
Be more specific with examples related to the topic.
complete response
Ensure each paragraph effectively supports the main argument or interpretation.
complete response
Focus on providing a complete response to all parts of the task.
clear comprehensive ideas
The candidate provides some viable solutions to tackle obesity, such as advising healthy eating habits and engaging in exercise.
complete response
Attempts have been made to address the link between obesity in children and their parents' lifestyle, offering a broad perspective.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.