Some people think that team sports prepare children for work life but others think individual sports are better. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

There are those who argue that team sports prepare young kids for their future job life,

whereas

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others believe that individual exercise is more beneficial.

This

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essay supports the early point but will discuss both views in the forthcoming paragraphs and show why collective sport is better in the conclusion paragraph.

Firstly

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, from an individual competition perspective,

this

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kind of sport has some good aspects to teach children,

such

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as independence and a strong fighting spirit. When kids persevere in a solo competition like athletics or swimming, they can not depend on other people except their own body, so they must focus on themself and making their best version to win the game.

For instance

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, Usain Bolt, the fastest man alive, trained for 3 hours a day and 6 days a week to make him a world record holder and get a lot of titles.

On the other hand

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, team-based games

also

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have many positive impacts on children. One of them is how to collaborate in the squad.

For example

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, in basketball and soccer, excellent teams must have superb teamwork; if they do not have good teamwork and play with their ego, that team will not win the tournament, even though they have many star players on the team.

Secondly

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, team-based games train young kids how to communicate with other people, like in industry life, so if they get used to having good communication with other people, they do not need to worry in the time when industry life enters their lives.

To conclude

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, despite all the advantages of solo rivalry, collective exercise is superior when entering the world of work. Collective exercise has already taught them how to handle a situation that single-player sports do not teach.

arthur100173

Jul 9, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it well.

task achievement

Try to give more detailed explanations for your examples.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your conclusion clearly summarizes the main points and gives a strong final statement.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples to support your points, like Usain Bolt and team sports.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Some people think that team sports prepare children for work life but others think individual sports are better. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Your opinion

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Some people think that hosting international sports events is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.